Female ✔️

26: the key

The council table is exactly like I remember; sturdy oak wood weathered by anger and testosterone, a pale brown color, a single matching bench along the longest side, propped beneath bleary eyed males of various ranks and old age. It's sat up on a platform of higher level than the ground, so no matter who comes to be admonished or advised is looked down upon. If you are in the clutches of glory, they may just take you in. Threadbare hands might just grab at you and pull you into their treacherous grins like an elusive poison until you just become one of them.

Tonight, they look down at me, and I try to imagine what they're seeing. I picture my long brown waves dropping to my ribs, my damning face of freckles, the unnerving wolf eyes with dark, sleepless smudges beneath. I see too big clothes, a slight frame with quivering muscles. I see someone who is trying to hold it together before all the glued fragments burst apart. I hope they cannot see this well.

"Montana Wrens," Calls out the oldest of them all, his face looks leathery by the age and the Sun, his hair is white and to his shoulders, slicked back at the top. "Born to Vern and his mate Hannah. They are not present for this reevaluation because they are deceased. Montana bares a branding on her back from disobedience and fighting pack mates. Her mate was Blu Parsim, but under guidance from the council ourselves, he has rejected her. This female just returned from her exile."

I don't flinch at his words, my eyes lock on his, unwavering. Alpha Parsim takes his seat in the very center, the white haired male is on his left, the spot to his right is empty. I realize that's where Romulus would sit.

"Female," White Hair speaks directly to me now. "There is nothing for you here. This is the way, the only way. Your parents are dead, your mate has rejected you, you have been punished over and over for many crimes. You are a female, which means you are not entitled to property, wealth, work, your body or your name. You are now disconnected from the last name Wrens. It is not yours. You are not allowed to leave this pack again, you are on probation for three months, just in time for the Winter Solstice. You will have no Heat this year and you will have no mate ever."

Just like that, I am stripped of it all. The reasoning for this hate and discrimination is cradled in the hands of a patriarchy. It could happen to any female that steps out of line. They can smell it on me, my exile has changed nothing positive for them. Still I am disobedient and unusefull, and being older, only more dangerous to them. We all know these truths. Even if I had cleaned up my act, it would always be guilty until proven innocent.

I blink, once, twice. Silent, it's all I have just to hold myself steady. For a brief moment, I wonder why Blu isn't sat at the table like he usually is, the next thought that takes hold is how the ground isn't holding the day's heat as well anymore, and lastly I think of how screwed I am. Nothing is left for me here.

I pull my lower lip into my mouth and draw myself up to my full height. I look all the male's in the eyes and tip my chin up.

"Eyes down, female!" Parsim says strongly, a growl of forewarning. He threatens the worst that has yet to come.

Keeping my chin up, I lower my eyes for now. A single tear drips down my cheek, I can't control this. Hoping it is invisible in the flickering torch light. Remember, take the chances you get when it comes to the possession of choices. Be smart. These words won't mean anything when I am done here.

White Hair's gruff voice speaks, "Anything to add, Alpha?"

"No." He snaps his large fingers. "Irina, show Montana to her room. Council adjourned."

"Yes, Alpha." A tall female comes forward, she is draped in red silks and tight black pants. Her figure is knowing of her beauty and cunning. She nods for me to follow and I do, glad to turn away from the table of dread. As I trail after her, I first realize the needle heeled shoes she wears and curiously wonder how she is able to walk so well over the uneven ground, and then I realize I have never met this female before.