Tuckson | Moving Closer

Reality vs. Nightmares

Olivia sighed. "Thank you," Olivia said.
She walked out of Dr. Lindstorm's office. As soon as she shut the door, she froze. A familiar, but dreadful, face approached her.
"Welcome home detective Benson," a bloody Lewis said. Olivia had heard those words before. His sidekick, well sidekicks, surrounded her. Multiple cops crowded her as the appeared out of thin air. She panicked and looked around. No exit. No where to go.
---
Olivia woke up. It was dark. No Lewis. No cops surrounding her. But there were flashbacks, multiple. Flashbacks of being in the run-down beach house. Flashbacks of being scared, helpless, fearless, and strong all at once. Flashbacks of seeing Carisi's face with blood being splattered all over it. She shuddered. She reached for her phone on her nightstand. "4:28 AM." She tried to stealthily fall back asleep, but failed. Tucker, laying by her side, noticed her movement.
"It's a little too early to get up, don't you think?" Tucker said in a drowsy voice.
"I'm sorry," Olivia said in an apologetic voice.
He noticed the shakiness in her voice.
"Everything alright?" Tucker asked spooked.
Olivia didn't say a word.
---
"Another sleepless night," Olivia muttered to herself as she attempted round two of falling asleep. Tucker had snuggled up close to her to comfort her, but it didn't work. Nothing worked. She reached for her phone again. It was early. Early enough to get out of bed. As Ed was still was in bed, she quietly got up and got dressed. Her closet consisted entirely of cardigans and blazers, colorful blouses, various coats to fight against the climate of New York, and some high-heeled booties. She chose a simple outfit, all black. Except the coat, there was a hint of a tanish color here and there. Hiding beneath the body-sized coat held a black, leather blazer. Underneath that held a simple, black shirt with a marbled effect. She went with her trusty black pants, which she always chose. Her high-heel boots passed just above her ankle. She fixed her hair into a high ponytail and headed into her limited kitchen.
---
She had already called Dr. Lindstorm. She told him what happened a few hours ago. They scheduled a session in the afternoon, which meant Olivia had plenty of time to gather herself together. She took the coffee pot from the holder and added two packets of sugar and tiny drop of milk, like usual. She headed to her couch and turned on the TV. She tried to turn the volume down before Tucker woke up, but it was too late. He walked up behind her and gave her a kiss on the top of her head. She reacted defensively and turned around. Tucker's eyes stood out.
"I'm-I'm sorry." Olivia had said those exact words too many times recently. Instead of verbally responding, he shook his head. Olivia hadn't told him what happened. Like always, Tucker knew something was wrong. It was obvious to him.
---
Tucker was still in his loose sweatshirt and his gray sweatpants, which Olivia agreed he looked pretty cute in them. He noticed that she had changed out of her pajamas and into some more--formal attire. He tilted his head and asked, "Liv, something's up, and I want to know what it is," Tucker said it in an almost demanding voice. Olivia explained the nightmare.
"Liv, why didn't you tell me?" Tucker demanded, "Don't you trust me?"
Olivia was getting frustrated. "Yes, alright? I do. I set up a session today, okay? I'll be fine."
"A session? So, I'm no longer worth talking to?" Tucker said,
Olivia came close to him and hugged him tightly.
---
The time came. She said her goodbyes to Tucker and drove off in her Ford Mustang. She wondered if he really thought that he's not worth talking to. She approached the parking lot of his office and walked through the glass doors. She walked into the light blue painted room. The walls were chipped. She pinched herself to make  sure she wasn't having another horrific nightmare. At last, Dr. Lindstorm walked out of his office and welcomed his familiar client. She sat down with her favorite cushioned chair. He closed the door sat down and the chair next to her. Dr. Lindstorm asked his usual question.
"How you've been?"
Olivia tilted her head and started to recall her nightmare. When she mention Lewis, he interrupted her.
"Lewis? He's gone. He's been gone for over three years."
"He's gone physically, but not emotionally," Olivia argued. Memories of her childhood slipped into her mind. She felt the feeling of being scared while her mother drank glass after glass. She felt her mind decay has she remembered what her mother did. Dr. Lindstorm what she was thinking about. Her face had froze and she stared into one direction.
"You see, Olivia, you grew up around the worst. Your father had abused your mother. All your mother would do mass sit, drink, and abuse you."
Olivia felt destroyed as she went through each word in her mind. About an hour later, the two departed and Olivia was on her way home again.
---
Olivia walked up to her apartment door. She grabbed her keys out of her black leather purse and unlocked the door. She saw Tucker watching the sport's channel. He got up from his position and walked over to her. As she placed her things onto the kitchen counter, he leaned closer.
"How are you?" Tucker asked.
"I'm fine."
She remembered what happened before she left. She left him with a blank face. He had made a meal for himself and had some leftover noodles. After she took her shoes off and placed them in the exact place where she found them, she headed back into the small kitchen. She turned on the stove top and let the water boil. A little later, the noodles were ready and she sprinkled some parmesan cheese on it. Tucker pulled her chair out and she plopped onto the chair.
"What happened last night?"
She grinned and leaned in closer.