Its All in Your Head

Prologue

It's like no matter how much you're freaking out, no matter how much you want to wake up, the instinct of not waking up is so strong that you wont actually wake up until you feel like your heads exploding and your throat is burning. Then when you finally do, that's when it stops hurting. It's not scary anymore, it's actually kind-of peaceful. The doctors call it FrontoTemporial dementure, but I call it a death sentence that I was diagnosed with it last week. The dementure shrinks my brain slowly every time I go to sleep. I get stuck in my dreams while I sleep and I can't wake up because my brain is too busy shrinking itself.

I'm fine.

I mean, apart from the not sleeping, the jumpiness and the constant overwhelming crushing fear that something terrible is about to happen. It's really starting to get bad too, I'm not just having nightmares, I'm having these dreams where I literary have to scream myself awake.

And do you know what makes it even worse? There's no cure. Sometimes i'm not sure if i'm even actually waking up. You know how you can tell your dreaming? You can't read in dreams.

And for the last few days I can't read a thing. It's like I can't see the words, I can't...put the letters in order.