Not Enough

My love for you

PAST (TAEHYUNG POV)

Its all start when we debuted we were so excited. I couldn't believe i made it, that we made it all together. I was jumping all around and for once I was not the only one acting "crazy". Kookie was jumping with me. He was so happy I could tell it by his beautiful bunny smile. I was proud of us, we all joined in a big family hug. Our manager told us that he will treat all of us for the goods news. I step aside the group and look at them, they were all smiling to each other. My eyes finally stopped at Jungkook and its just happen...

I realized my feelings for him. I was finally able to put a name on this feelings that had been inside of me since our trainee day. It scared me, how was I supposed to deal with it, with the fact that I love him in this way. Did it mean that I stopped loving Minjae ? Was it possible to love two persons at the same time ? Was it the same kind of love for the both of them ? I knew that for Minjae, its was true love because I still missed him, so much that it hurts sometimes but he was not there for me now. It had been few months since we last talked to each other.

I have to say that I missed having someone touching me (not in the sexual way), im a very touchy person so I really love skinship with others, but the others werent exactly like that except maybe for Hoseok. It was not like I can go in his bed anytime I want just to be with someone, to feel I wasn't alone. And even though it been quite I long time I know the others guys, not everyone was open with everyone. Hoseok, Namjoon, Jin and Yoongi were more open to each othen than me and, for exemple, Yoongi. Hoseok will be more open with me and Jimin, we were the sunshine trio and Jungkook with sometimes joined us. Kookie, Jimin and I were close we share the same room because the youngest. I know that Jimin and Kookie are not close like Kookie and I are but still talked a lot to each other. If I have been jealous of that fact before ? of course. Why ? Because I was afraid that he would left me to be with Jimin. I love Jimin, I really do, but not in the same way I love Jungkook. With him, now I realisez I want to be able to touch him whenever I want, not in a sexual way (well not yet ;) ). We do skinship together because we trust each other but its happens sometimes that he will avoid me because of it. I know he's still shy and young but its still hurt

I decided to texted Minjae about our debut. Surprisingly he texted me back quickly

From tae tae

Heyyy guess what

Our manager just told confirm our debut!!!!!

From MinMin

Noooooo REALLY ????? Im so happy for you, for all of you! J

We have to celebrated, are U free the next week end

From tae tae

Idk yet, ill text you soon about it I promise

... YLI (*its for I love you, so they wont get caught, it will be only between them)

From MinMin

Same...

I smiled to myself, happy to have him by my side and couldn't wait to see him, even if It was only for a few minutes.

PRESENT (3nd POV)

It has been 2 years since their debut, there was moments where Taehyung felt everything was wrong and others times he was the happiest. A lot has changed since their trainee days. Before he was always sharing a room with 2 others persons and that always include Jungkook, but today its was different...

Now he was sharing his room with Yoongi, Namjoon was paired up with Jin and Hoseok and finally Jungkook was sharing with Jimin. If Taehyung was angry with the arrangement? Well not really more like unhappy? He had always been paired up with Kookie so yeah it's was big change for him. He was used to talk to him all night, sometimes cuddles with him when the younger let him, sometimes sleep in the same bed.

He was scared that the younger get closer to Jimin and forgot about him. He knows that his bestfriend really LIKE Jungkook so yeah he had his insecurities about it. Now Kookie wasn't that shy anymore compared to the past. He was more open toward the others members and especially toward Jimin. Taehyung missed the way Jungkook will look for him when he felt insecure or shy. Now he have a concern, he'll go see him, Namjoon, Jin or Jimin.

Taehyung look at Kookie smiling at Jimin who had just help him carried his stuff to his new room. His heart clench at that, missing his smile. Lately the younger had been distanced himself from him and its hurts. He still loves him deeply, falling even harder every day for the maknae. He did tried to put a end to his feelings but failed.

Yahh!! Are you going to stand here all day ?. MOVE! Said Yoongi harshly to him

Sor..rry reply Taehyung stuttering

The elder elbows him while entering their new room. Taehyung couldn't understand the his hyung. He was almost always talking to him harshly and he didn't why. What did he do to deserve such treatment from the elder? That was still a mystery for him and he made his mission to found out.

Since their debut, Taehyung tried to talk to Yoongi about anything, but the elder will always interrupt him or say he doesn't have time to hear him talk about unnecessary things. He was hurt by those words coming out of the elder's mouth but keep quiet about it. He didn't want to bother the others about that. That was just between him and Yoongi he will solve it by himself.

The second younger decided to follow his new roommate and unpack his boxes. It was quiet in their room, only theirs. He could hear the others bickering about trivial things but mostly he could hear the maknae laugh at Jimin. He clenched his fists and try to ignore their voices but failed. Suddenly he heard a bang, he looks beside him and saw one of his box on the floor and his things scattered around. Oups and then...

Whattt now, why can you not make anything right ? said Yoongi trying to calm himself

Sor..rryyy reply Taehyung. Why does it seems that he always apologize with the elder

Stop saying sorry and do something about it! Reply the elder and gesturing toward the other's things on the floor

Taehyung could fell his tears coming, he closes his eyes firmly trying to not let a single tear go down on his cheek. Since the trainee days he promises to himself that he will NEVER cry in front of someone else. Actually, since he was a child, he remembered his mother saying to him that crying makes him ugly and will do nothing.