The Aftermath

Luv & date !!

I had given mark my number at IHOP, and we had been texting ever since. I don't really know how I feel about him. I mean, he's great. . . But he's not Luke. And it confuses me because I think of Mark and I smile for no reason and I picture us driving in his car listening to music and singing, and doing everything me and Luke do together.

Then my mind wonders, wondering if I'm just having a thought. . . And it will always be Luke maybe I'll just have to disconnect myself from him, like an alcoholic winging them self off the liquor that is killing them slowly. But I don't want to, I know fully that Luke has the power to control my every emotion and I allow it. I am willing to let him consume me and everything I do. Yet I'm still smiling at marks text, and thinking of moments we could possibly share, while all I want to do is sit on Luke's lap while he whispers dirty secrets in my ear. He can control my every move, and can take over my body, he's toxic to me and I love it. I close my eyes and see myself hypnotized by Luke's touch, his fingers running down my bare skin, causing goose bumps to arise on the skin.

It's like when I think of mark I see us in 'The Last song' a relationship that could be great and happy, but when I think of Luke I just feel everything.
Maybe mark can make me feel the same way, we'll see tonight on our date.

•••

I see mark's truck pull up to pick me up, it's a big difference from Luke's little car. I smile and make a mental note to stop comparing him to Luke, it won't help anything.

I push my hair over my shoulder, looking down at my adidas superstars. I have the original black and white ones, which uncle jack got me for my birthday. I wore some ripped jeans, and a tie up shirt, which shows off my boobs a little, but not too much.

I hop in the big truck, buckling up, then turning to mark.

"Woah, I knew you were beautiful with sweats, and a messy bun. But wow."

I smile, putting my head down. "Thank you, mark."

"Hey don't look down, in not ready to look away yet, I need another moment."

I laugh looking back up at him, "I have to say you don't look bad yourself." And he didn't. He wore a light blue shirt, and some khakis. His eyes more of a Carmel color from the sun, and his muscles showing as he held on to the steering wheel.

He laughs, giving me a quick thanks, pulling away and down the street. As he drove I took the time to notice the little things, how he danced to the music, how his hands slid to the bottom of the steering wheel every time he came to a stop. I noticed his nose was the perfect shape, and his teeth where whiter than I knew possible. But most of all I noticed how he caught me staring, made eye contact with a smile on his face, then laughed as I looked away.

And for the first time in forever I didn't think about Luke.

All I thought about was the clumsy way that mark told me to stay as he quickly ran around to open the door for me, then grabbed my hand to help me out, never letting go.

I thought about how he took a picture of me as we sat at a little burger joint, and captioned the picture with 'beautiful.' I thought about his laugh when I told him I'm a vegetarian so all I would eat is a fry and a shake. And I defiantly thought about how the boy took a few of my fries, then orders his own out of jealousy (which made me crack up laughing in front of the waitress when he ordered, so he threw a price of lettuce at me. It got caught in my hair.)