The Musings of a Teenage Something

Letters I'll Never Send

Dear Grandpa Earl,

I've been putting off this letter I know I'll never send. It's been years since you've left God's Green Earth. At least, how old am I now... sixteen? It still hurts me to know you're gone. Aunt Julie moved into the house you and Grandma Wanda used to live in. I know she takes care of your shop. That damn dog is still alive.

Here's all you've missed in the time you've been gone:

Malaysia Flight 370 disappeared while going to Beijing. Search parties were going for what seemed like months to find the missing aircraft. We still, three years later, don't know what came of it.

The Ebola outbreak began in March. It was the largest in history, and frankly terrifying to watch. The outbreak killed more than five thousand people. The virus spread rapidly in West Africa where sanitation was poor.

In August, eighteen year-old Michael Brown was shot and killed. He was black, and killed by a white police officer. This began dozens of protest against the police force, #BlackLivesMatter going stronger than ever. I would've loved to know what your wise mind thought of this. Darren Wilson, who shot Michael Brown, was not indicted on any charges. The protests quickly turned violent.

In the beginning of 2015 terrorist attacks were on everyone's radar. The word Islamophobia becomes a part of the English language, and Radical Islam becomes a more common phrase. I'd feel much safer with you around, no matter how old you are.

The Black Lives Movement continues with the death of Freddie Gray. He was a black man arrested, and during the arrest sustained life threatening injuries. Baltimore was once again in a state of riot.

ISIS claims to be responsible for one out of three attacks on June 26th. At the Tunisia Hotel in Sousse, Tunisia at least 39 people were killed. Later in the year, on November 13th, a shooting in Paris killed 130 people and left over four hundred injured. ISIS also claimed responsibility for this attack.

The drinking water in Flint, Michigan is contaminated, and has been contaminated. The pipes are allowing lead to get into the water, and small children are drinking it, getting lead poisoning. Nothing is being done to fix the pipes.

Lastly, America is up for a new president. It's Hilary Clinton or Donald Trump. Hilary won the popular vote, but Trump won in the Electoral College. The day after his inauguration there was a nationwide Women's Rights March in major US cities against Trump, our new president.

I don't mean to be so down, really. But do you see how bad the world's gotten since you've left? It's not the same.

I want you back so badly.

I want to get up early Christmas morning and rush through opening my presents because we have to get to Grandma and Grandpa's house. And if we're really lucky, we'll get there in time for breakfast and stay all day for lunch. We'll sit in the living room with our bellies full of home cooked food while we reminisce of better times.

We'll open presents and laugh. Remember that year Julie got me that one striped sweater? I hated it! I thought it was so ugly. I never wore it, but I never said anything because she's family and we love family, and I'm sure if she gave me that sweater now I'd love it.

Maybe after presents, just for old time's sake, Matt will take us down into the forest exploring. Those are some of my best memories I will hold on to forever. Cider used to follow us, she can't now. That poor dog is so old. Older than me. Gotta be. Mom claims she's a vampire.

I'll always cherish those memories. And in a couple years, all those bad things I told you about, I'll forget about them. They'll just be old news. I'll ditch those bad memories so I can hold onto the ones I have with you a little bit longer, a little bit tighter.

I won't be able to get through all the death and gore in this world unless I can hold on to everything you've taught me, and everything you've given me. All the strength you, as my great-grandfather, have empowered to me. Without that I'll never make it in the world.

I miss you Grandpa. Everyone does.

(But no one more than me.)

With Lots of Love,

Your Great-Granddaughter Hailey Showalter