"Baby, you need to eat something." I hear his voice but my eyes stay on the small bed in the corner of the room which contains my baby.
"I didn't even get to say hello." I suck in a shaky breath. "Let alone goodbye." I whisper, my eyes never leaving the bed.
The tears have been silently streaming down my face since I found out that I was never going to see what colour her eyes become. I'll never get to teach her how to walk or talk. I'll never be able to play with her or talk to her about relationship problems she's having. I'll never be able to take her out shopping or spoil her on her birthday. I'll never see her smile.
I feel arms wrap around me but I don't react.
We sit like that for a few minutes, myself silently sobbing into him with my eyes locked onto my Rose.
The door opens and Dan enters the room.
"Finally decided to turn up?" Noah says venomously.
Dan rolls his eyes, seemingly unaffected by the loss.
"I couldn't just leave." Dan spits back making Noah let out a deep growl, gripping onto me tighter, almost protectively.
"She just lost her baby and you couldn't give a shit." He says, his voice rising in volume.
"You think I don't care?" Dan asks in disbelief. "He was my baby too." He says and Noah let's out a mocking laugh.
"The fact that you didn't care enough to learn the gender of your baby says a lot." He mocks and Dan sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"Why are you even here Neil?" He says.
"It's Noah you asshat and if you were ever around, you'd know that." He starts. "And I'm here because you weren't and I actually care about her." He spits, narrowing his eyes into a death glare.
"I'm not staying here to hear this." He says and turns to leave the room.
"You're a disgrace of a man." Noah speaks up and Dan stops but doesn't turn around. "Your fiancé went through a nine month pregnancy, birth and loss and yet, here you are, stopping in for a grand total of five minutes like every day and now you're off again."
"I am grieving too, you wouldn't understand." He says and I feel Noah start standing up and knowing what he plans on doing, I grab his thigh which is right next to me and shake my head.
He sighs and grabs the hand resting on his thigh, placing a kiss on the back of it and then cuddling back into my side.
"Wow, my fiancé has you whipped." Dan laughs and Noah's hand twitches.
"Burn in hell." He growls and I rub my thumb over his hand, feeling him instantly relax.
Realising that I have yet to say anything, I decided to change the subject.
"She has your eyelashes." I try to say, but it comes out as a whisper, my eyes haven't still haven't moved from my rose, terrified that she will disappear.
I feel both of their attention turn to me.
"She has my eyes and nose," I sniff, "but her eyelashes are too long to be mine." I try to laugh, smile, anything, but I physically can't. The pain in my heart has paralysed any emotion, I feel nothing but emptiness.
I weakly pry myself away from Noah, feeling all the warmth leave my body, and make my way over to my Rose.
I lean over and see her laying peacefully in her fuzzy pink blanket which I had gotten her the minute I found out we were having a girl.
If you didn't know she was dead, you would think she was just sleeping.
But that's what she is doing. Sleeping. Just minus the breathing and blood pumping through her tiny veins.
I reach in and lift her into my arms, careful to support her head.
I then walk slowly over to the bed once again, scanning every millimetre of her face as I go.
Once I reach the bed, I crawl back into Noah who wraps me up in his arms without hesitation.
"She looks so peaceful." I whisper as I lightly trace my finger over her pale cheek which lacks the flush of life.
"Well that would make sense since she's dead." Dan says from the door which stabs me like a knife as I let out a sob, clutching her to my chest.
"Leave now before I call someone to do it for you!" Noah shouts, shaking with rage.
I try to tell Noah it was just a mistake but the painful sobs were ripping through me, resulting in strangled noises rather than words.
"I have places to be anyway." He says and slams the door shut.
"As if he just said that." Noah whispers in disgust and disbelief.
"Noah." I whimper, craving warmth while the rest of me feels cold and lifeless.
"Shh, shh, it's okay sweetheart, it's okay." He whispers into my ear as he cuddles me closer while rocking us slowly back and forth.
But no matter how many times he tells me it's ok, I know it never will be again.
Not without my baby.
