My Other Half (Rickian)

Self-Inflicted

When the waitress finally got there with our food I felt like I was starving. I let go of Kian's hand without hesitation and started chowing down. I could see Andrea making a face at me through my eyelashes but I didn't care. This was my date just as much as hers.

"Is it good?" Kian laughed, looking down at me happily. I nodded seeing as my mouth was full. Kian seemed to be getting a real kick out of how fast I was eating so I tried to tone it down a bit. He still watched me as I ate though and it was making me horribly uncomfortable. I was almost glad when Andrea cleared her throat angerly. Almost.

"How's your meal, Kian?" She asked, irritation showing clear in her voice. He grinned at her.

"Good, yours?"

"I could use some more dressing. Do you mind?" She complained. Kian nodded slowly and raised his hand to signal the waitress. I could tell by Andrea's sly grin she didn't actually need any more. She was just doing it to put Kian through the trouble. 

After he'd successfully got that it kept her quiet for a bit longer. While she was eating Kian went back to staring at me. I was almost finished so I hurried it up.

"You're kind of a slob, you know?" I looked up at him and froze. He had it. The way his face had lit up when he seen Andrea earlier. I swallowed and a smile spread across my face.

"Shut-up, eat yours." I giggled, nodding toward his full plate. He sighed and looked away from me for the first time since Andrea's salad dressing request. I looked over at her with a big grin on my face and as soon as I seen her death glare it faded away. A chill ran down my back just from looking at the darkness in her eyes.

"So Ricky, did you come here just to mooch free cake or?" I grit my teeth. I should have known Andrea was the type to try and start something.

"No actually, I figured I'd tag along just in case you decided to ruin Kian's life again. You know, so I could put the pieces back together like last time." Her face scrunched up and she shook her head slowly. I felt Kian pinch my leg and swatted his hand away.

"You know what Ricky-" I heard Kian kick her foot under the table.

"Andrea, we're going to go to the washroom, excuse us." He said, standing and dragging me by the arm in the direction of the mens room.

"I thought only girls went to the bathroom in pairs." Andrea called after us. A couple of tables turned to look at us but I ignored them. I was busy watching Kian's angry expression. It was hard to believe how I'd lit his face up a moment ago. Just as Kian reached for the door a man walked out and looked at us strangely.

"You realize there isn't stalls in there, it's just one bathroom? You'll have to go at different times." He mumbled, walking off looking disgusted. He probably assumed we were looking for a place to do something nasty. Which, I'd much prefer to the lecture I was about to get.

"Whatever, come on." Kian said, shoving me in quickly with him. Before Kian had a chance to open his mouth I spoke up.

"Listen, I'm really sorry I just panicked and didn't know what to say. She was being so mean to me what'd you expect?" I pouted, leaning against the sink. For a bathroom it looked cleaner than anywhere in our house. It really was a fancy wedding, I'd give it that.

"I think you should leave." Kian said flatly. I frowned.

"Kian, I said I was sorry! After all the work you did to get me here and you're gonna kick me out?"

"I'm not mad at you! This whole idea was stupid of me. Watching the way you've looked at me tonight and in the car earlier that you could get used to it. It's sort of clicked how horrible I've been treating you. What you need right now is a firm no, it's the only way you're going to get over me. And here I am stringing you along and using your feelings for me to my own advantage! Ricky, you deserve someone who can give you everything, not someone that's going to have to hold your hand underneath the table and pretend it isn't happening your entire relationship!" There were tears in Kian's eyes. I balled my fists and shook my head.

"I don't care! Regardless of how you treat me it's not going to change the way I feel about you! At least this way I get an idea of what it's like to actually be happy!" I shout, shoving him against the wall and grabbing his shirt. He looked down at me shocked. I was shocked with myself. Lately I've been too nervous to speak my mind around Kian.

"But Ricky, I don't want to hurt you." He whispered, his voice so weak it tugged at my heart strings. I let go of his shirt and shook my head.

"Kian, you idiot, my pain is self-inflicted. I don't WANT to get over you. I don't WANT to give up on this. And I'm not going to." I say confidently. The tears start to trail down his cheeks and he bites at his lip. I pull him into a hug and hold him to me tightly. 

"Why'd you have to go and fall in love with me, Ricky?" 

"Why'd you have to go and make me?"