Don't let me go

Chapter 06 | I'm hurt Psycho

I'm hurt Psycho.

Athazagoraphobia, the technical term used to describe the fear of forgetting, being forgotten or ignored, being replaced. This happens to everyone almost frequently, our minds thinks and feels many things most of the time its just an illusion, like the week I just endured.

In view was the iron steel gates standing tall with a gold pallet spelling out 'St Patrick's'. The journey back from the fun fair was all but pleasant, Harry succeeded in not acknowledging my existence, it's like we walked side by side but we were mentally a thousand miles apart.

At one time it felt normal to enter my dorm room, it felt like home. Although it stayed exactly the same, this time it felt so different.

Ashley and Joanna were still fast asleep in the same position except Ashley had been rolled out of her own bed onto the cold wooden floor.

'This is an argument just waiting to blossom at dawn.'

I nodded to myself in agreement.

I slowly snuck back into bed closing the window behind me and drawing the curtains to a close to not draw any suspicoin.. The sheets felt alien on my skin as did the pillows, my mind still fixed on the fairgrounds, whilst my body layed in bed motionless.

Awoken by the constant bickering coming from underneath me, tossing and turning in the sheets I covered my head with the pillow attempting to sufficient myself to death just to drown out the yells coming from my obnoxious roommate's. 

Today i was in the mood to sleep for an eternity and wake up with a fresh new mind, but I guess that's just how Monday's feel.

I realized it wasn't helping anyone, especially myself if I just buried myself under the covers so I became productive and got up. I summoned all my willpower to get up. And it worked.

Unfortunately.

I walked past the two girls howling over eachother and strolled approaching the bathroom, my legs quaked as the raw morning tiles tickling the sole of my feet. I faced the wall sized mirror and tied my ruff hair into a messy bun, brushed my teeth then slipped out of my pyjama shorts and vest leaving me in my bra and undies, which soon vanished straight afterwards.

Everything i did was in slow motion, vision was still drowsy from the uneventful night before. I twisted the taps of both the hot and cold to adjust the temperature. Then slipped into the luke warm bath and let out a sigh of relief.

I felt at ease with myself finally, like my thoughts were being submerged in the water, I lowered myself so I was eye level with the water observing as the bubbles float to the top and like a submarine I delved deeper into the hallow unknown.

I felt alone with nothing but my thoughts echoing in my head. It's not like I'm bothered Harry was acting so shady, I've come to an understanding that my father's gone, it does get to me time to time but really I've locked all those emotions in a steal volt blocked behind six hundred feet of bricks and cement.

I want to know what his thinking. Was it the revalation of my past that spooked him or reminded him of momments from his? The hurt present in his diluted pupils the way he's ruffled hair flopped across his face made him appear so innocent and sweet. Are his tattoos and black clothing just a facade he created to hide the pain he was feeling?

What's this feeling I keep getting when he touches me? It's like a lightening bolt shooting up my arms, leaving ghossebumps everywhere. Why is it when I look at him my heart skips a beat, hands shakes and my body trembles?

I launched up from the water so fast I could have broken my neck then turned to the direction of the door where the consistent tapping was interrupting my thoughts. I forgot I'm in school and share a bathroom with two others for a brief moment.