The Wonderland Effect

Chapter Twenty One

Alister was on the brink of losing his mind. His thoughts climbed on top of each other, each trying to grab his attention. His heart had gone haywire, expanding and contracting like a madman. His stomach had become a trapeze artist, swinging back and forth and doing stunts in the air. It took all he had to keep his expression neutral.

Valentine appeared beside him and punched him lightly on the arm. "I guess I owe you my block of chocolate."

The girl looked up at Valentine, her expression unreadable. "Sorry?"

And, as if suddenly noticing here presence, Valentine turned and met Gwendolyn's gaze. "Oh, sorry Gwen. It's just a silly game Alister and I were playing."

That stopped the internal anarchy that Alister was fighting to conquer. But only enough for him to think 'what game?' before it resumed again.

Gwendolyn raised an eyebrow. "Oh really?"

"Yeah." Valentine replied, "You see, I told Alister there was a new patient named Gwendolyn and that if he could find her I'd give him my block of chocolate."

"I told you I was good," Alister said, playing along.

"Well we best be on our way," Valentine announced, turning away from her, "you know, places to go, people to bother."

She walked back to the table and Alister followed. When they sat down, Valentine began her usual rambling in the group that involved no response from Will, corrections from Marcel, paranoid remarks from Arisa and the occasional nod from Alister. Today, though, Alister was unable to nod at the right time. The very fact that Gwendolyn had suddenly appeared at the asylum had metaphorically thrown him off balance. Gwendolyn. The girl who had appeared in his dreams more often than he could count. The girl who's facial features he knew better than his own. The girl he had convinced himself did not exist.

What was she doing here?

Lunchtime passed without Alister taking so much as a bite out of his food. In the last minute, Valentine slipped something into his chest pocket while they hugged.

"Save it for later." She whispered her breath hot against his neck. He felt flustered all of a sudden and quickly let go.

When the nurse came, what little happiness he had left disintegrated and he felt his face mould into the blank expression that he usually wore.

"Guess what Alister?" The nurse said, her smile blinding, "Dr Xander said you're allowed to go outside!"

Alister eyed her cautiously. "Really?"

The nurse laughed as she put his straitjacket on for him. "Why of course!"

When she finished she led him through a series of corridors, her heels clicking on the white vinyl floors. They came to a halt at a glass door. Alister eyed the lush green grass and the flowerbed. A feeling of longing for The Meadow suddenly overcame him and he could help but feel disappointed at the view in front of him. Managing to suppress his feelings, he waited patiently for his straitjacket to be undone and the code for the door to be tapped in before he walked slowly out. He took a deep breath of air and continued to do so for a few minutes. The air in the asylum felt different somehow, slightly metallic and unnatural but the air out here felt fresh and new. It felt so good to take it in Alister wouldn't have been surprised if he was told they had somehow dissolved drugs into the air.

The wind was cold, it stroked and nuzzled his face; combined with the soft grass beneath him Alister felt euphoric.

The feeling lingered as he lay on the grass and watched the clouds pass by. It clung to him when the sun appeared behind the clouds and blessed him with her warm rays. It bound to him as he inhaled the sweet smell of the honeysuckle that grew in the flowerbeds. He felt horrified when his nurse reappeared and told him he had to come back in. The very idea of having to inhale the harsh chemical smell that the asylum radiated made him want to snap his neck. He took one last deep breath of air before he entered the building again.