The Chronicles of Jeffrey

8th Grade Flashbacks

Catchphrases Galore

Once again, Jeffrey invented a handful of strange and meaningless catchphrases.

-hydrohidren                             -silicone cylinder

-Save me, Ozee!                      -Welcome to my mind games!

-mevil (mean + evil)                -All of Houston is your horse.

-The Science Book of Spanishness

-No... my only weakness... poking!                    -Traitor

I used mevil a lot in the 1st semester once Jeffrey invented the word, and after he told The Quest I started saying "All of New Zealand is my zebra" the way Jeffrey talked about Canada being his horse, so he started replying to that by saying Houston was my horse. One day we got into a conversation about me carrying my Spanish textbook around in the hallway. Jeffrey accidentally said "science" instead of "Spanish," and the catchphrase was born a minute later. In 8th grade I developed a habit of poking Jeffrey randomly the way another one of his friends did.

The Discovery of Graphite and No More Joe 

In our 8th grade year, Jeffrey and I shared 1st period science class. I was checking the led in my mechanical pencil one day and said the word "led" rather than "graphite." Jeffrey (who sat next to me at the time) corrected me. He said he was there when graphite was discovered. I commented on that and told him he must be really old, but he just ignored me. He imitated the scientist who, according to Jeffrey, had said, "Gentlemen, what should we call this new rock?" Jeffrey pretended to be another man and answered, "Graphite." "Ingenious!" said the first man. Jeffrey and I acted this scene out a few times after that.

Also, starting on the third or fourth day of school, Joe had to start eating lunch with the 7th graders, so he wouldn't be hanging around us very much anymore.

Jeffrey's Least-Favorite Movies 

On the sixth day of school, Jeffrey told a story expressing how much he hated the Twilight and Harry Potter movies. He said that neither he nor his grandma liked them, so the films were used for firewood. Jeffrey said you could hear the Harry Potter music as the movies were being burned. When the fire went out, Jeffrey said you could still hear the music. He made a second version of this story, but I never wrote it down.

The Quest

On the second Thursday of the year, Jeffrey began a story that took him four days to tell. He called it "The Quest." There was a land called Pentagonic and it had five villages. There was an archer girl (me), and she was the best archer in her village. The archer departed on a quest to defeat the five evil Orc Bosses in the land of Pentagonic. Each Orc Boss lived in a different village and was a different element category. She met a wizard (Jeffrey) and a zebra named New Zealand, who helped her on her quest. Jeffrey's story went on and the archer and the wizard rode on New Zealand to a forest. There was a villager running around because his hair was on fire. The travelers had no idea how the poor man's hair got that way, but just as the     archer and wizard dismounted New Zealand, the villager ran into the zebra and lit him on fire. Surprisingly, New Zealand was completely unharmed because he had just become a fire zebra! He ran around and accidentally bumped into a tree and set it on fire, which started a forest fire. The wizard laughed, and in real life I scolded Jeffrey for laughing rather than putting out the fire with his magical powers. He said there was a reason he didn't put it out, and back in the story the trees burned down to reveal a hidden fortress, which the travelers entered and found an orc and Orc Boss 1 there. There was a treeman, one of what Jeffrey called the elemental rivals, who saw all that and followed them from a distance. The archer used her arrows to kill the orc, but got slapped when she tried to beat up the Orc Boss. The wizard made a vortex and sent the evil creature into it. A golden key fell out of a door in the ceiling and the archer took it.  New Zealand's fire went out, and the wizard and the archer rode to the next village. The archer used the key to open the gates of that village, and the people who lived there screamed with joy when they saw the travelers, who made their way to Orc Boss 2, the ice boss. Jeffrey used his Gatorade bottle and his upside-down Pringles cup, both of which were empty, to simulate the clopping of New Zealand's hooves. The trio arrived in a snowy area where the fortress was. Suddenly, New Zealand became a icicle zebra! A snowman noticed the travelers and decided to follow them along with the treeman. The AWZ (archer, wizard, zebra) entered the fortress and the battle with Orc Boss 2 began. The archer tried to use physical combat, but she got slapped again. The wizard created another vortex and Orc Boss 2 was sent away where no one would have to worry about him. An ice key appeared, and the AWZ  rode to the next village and entered with the help of the key. The same thing happened with the next three villages except the elements were different. Every time the travelers battled an Orc Boss, New Zealand had a different power, different elemental rivals followed the trio, and different keys appeared.