To You || l.s.

09.

     It’s been seven days since Harry stopped being able to touch Louis.

 

     Seven days.

 

    The second night of the two sleeping together, Harry woke up after midnight from a nightmare he had, and cried when Louis tried to hold him, but couldn’t.

 

    Now, Harry is sitting on the couch and drinking tea that Zayn made him and not making eye contact with he or Louis. “Your train is leaving in a few hours, right?”

 

     “Well, it's 6 o'clock in the morning now, and I have to be there by 8, so yeah."

 

    When the time comes, Harry hugs Zayn tight, because he needs the physical contact. “You’ll be alright, yeah?” Zayn asks when they’re in the train station and Harry is about to see him off.

 

     Harry hesitates when he says “yes” but Zayn doesn’t catch it over the bustle of people.

 

    “I should be back around midnight, alright?”

 

     Harry doesn’t answer.

 

    “I love you, man.”

 

    “I love you, too,” and then they’re hugging one last time and Harry waves as his friend is on the train and out of sight.

 

    Once back at the apartment, Harry curls up on his bed and doesn’t move for a few hours.

 

    Louis is worried about him.

 

    “Isn’t tomorrow the five year anniversary of your death?”

 

    “And what should have been my 26th birthday.”

 

    “I’ll buy a cake and eat it all for you.”

 

    “Cream cheese icing, please.”

 

    Harry cracks a smile and yearns to touch this beautiful man.

 

    He cries himself to sleep that night when Louis disappears and doesn’t come back until five in the morning. “I tried to stay, baby. I’m so sorry.” Louis is trying to comfort him and Harry keeps crying and reaching out to touch him but he can’t.

 

    “I’ll hold you when I can, Harry. Calm down. Shh.”

 

    “What’s going on in here?” Zayn is barging through the door and turning on the light and despite his tiredness, he manages to stumble to the bed and hold Harry in his arms. “Harry. Babe. What’s wrong?”

 

    Louis is sitting on the edge of the bed and watching as Harry stares at him over Zayn’s shoulder with red-rimmed eyes.

 

    “Just hold me. Please.”

 

    Harry shuts his eyes and rests his head in the crook of Zayn’s neck.

    He falls asleep with tears in his eyes and a plan on his mind.