Walking Forward to the Beginning (Book 5)

Contemplation

It has been said
That poets write their
Strongest pieces
When they're going
Through bad times

That when things are
Working out
The writing isn't the same
That can and may be true

Contemplation

Should I have written
When my anxiety
Was piggybacking me
Waiting for my blood test results

You know it's been 7 months
Since the last one
There was that
And getting final grade back

Still waiting
Not making it my everything
I've started to change back to
Who I was pre-illness

Caring about others
Who put themselves first
And can close off to me
Even though they know
I worry and that's bad for me

But it's done anyways
Because who cares if a
Friend is worried
Instead of a heads up
They come first

Why do I do that?
If they can put themselves
First
Just like I did before
I shouldn't take it personally

Contemplation
I used to be an enigma
To friends
Even that word, friend
Needs to be re-evaluated

I watch folks pray to
The social media G-ds constantly
About finding true love
But are they looking
Or just hoping the perfect man
Will fall into their laps

Beauty and the Beast
Is only a movie
In order for life to have meaning
You got to work for it

Open your heart to the universe
Be more social
Or join a site

I am made out of love
I am determined to
Move on my own path
And
Maybe just maybe

I will not share anything else
Personal about myself
Until I am as cared about as
I have about others

I deserve better
Poems will happen
I am a writer after all
But what's deep in my heart
My soul
Is no longer anyone's business

Because you don't deserve it
That's not a judgment
That's the truth

I saw
I witnessed
I contemplated
I gave chances

Since people are staying true to
Themselves
I deserve the best as well

Poems are written during
Epiphanies too

It's my turn now