Back for You (Watty Awards 2012)

Chapter 8

The next morning I met up with Penny for our secret ghost-lessons. I didn’t know what I was supposed to expect, but I was not prepared for the topic she dropped first.

            “Possession?!” I shrieked. “You mean Exorcist-style projectile vomiting, head spinning possession? Penny, I’m not sure how cool with that I am.”

            She laughed, but it didn’t make my nerves settle. “No, honey, no. Demons can possess humans, but so can gentler spirits like you and I. It’s all about purpose—all about the intent,” she started, walking us the middle of the snowy cemetery clearing. “Those things…they possess with evil. They get inside a body and break it down from the inside out, soul and all. But that’s not us. We don’t get the same power that a bad spirit would.”

            “No offense, but if we don’t destroy a person or get any kind of benefits from possessing them, then what’s the point?” I asked.

            She beamed at me, leaning on the handle of her red umbrella propped up in the snow. “See, you’re thinking in the right direction, honey! Truth is, that’s the difference between us and them. We might not get anything out of it, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned in this world it’s that everything has its place—but it’s no easy thing, sugar.”

            “So what would spirits like us even use possession for?”

            She walked us along and we passed a family clustered around a headstone. They were placing flowers around the plot and speaking in murmurs too low for us to hear. Standing just on the other side of the headstone watching them was Mr. Bryant, the middle-aged man the plot belonged to. He gave us a small smile as we passed, but his eyes stayed locked on his mourning family.

            “You see, some of us have more trouble crossing over than others. Possession is a way to make a big statement,” she chuckled and I scoffed a little. That was one way to put it, I thought. “Sometimes, in order for us to fix what we left behind we have to make ourselves heard. When nothing else works, possession or manifestation can be a powerful last resort.”

            I felt my eyebrows shoot up. “Then why are any of us still here?!” Taking over someone’s body or popping up in front of them seems like an ace-in-the-hole for crossing over.”

            Penny sighed. “It ain’t easy, baby, and not something you can practice. This sort of thing… it takes what they call a high emotional state. That’s one way that we ain’t so different from the bad spirits,” she started. Her face creased with worry and my nerves kicked up. “For them, it’s nothing but a state of pure hate. True hate; powerful hate. Anger, rage, revenge… that’s how they lived in life and it never left them when they passed.”

            “What about us, Penny?” my vocal chords constricted.

            “For us… it’s the love for the ones we left behind. The desire to move on, and to see them happy.” She could read my face instantly and continued before I could interject, “But honey, it’s the sort of love that most people never, ever know. The pure strength it takes to manifest or possess is more than you need to run a marathon—I assume. Sugar, you know those aren’t my thing,” she chuckled and my eyes rolled, but I couldn’t help but crack a smile. Her smile faded and her chest heaved with another sigh.

            “Do you know of anyone who has pulled it off?”

            “Only two in my time on this side. I’m not proud of this, but a while back I tried to manifest for my baby girl. She came home from school, crying and sobbing—other kids are so mean. I couldn’t even get her to see a blink’s worth of me.” Penny sighed sadly but gave me a shy little shrug. “They say that most of us don’t have it in us. It’s almost impossible from what I see. I’m sure that’s why Arthur didn’t tell you.”

            I caught the sudden sourness in her voice right away, and rolled my next question around my tongue for a moment. “Penny, why don’t you like Arthur?”

            Her face perked up suddenly and she held my arm gently. “Oh, pumpkin, I’m sorry! I don’t mean to be nasty,” she sighed. She and I clearly don’t share the same definition of ‘nasty.’ “I know you two are closer in age than me, and I’m sure y’all have a lot more to talk about together than with an old girl like me, but something about that boy doesn’t sit right with me.” She grasped one of my hands and squeezed it gently. “You know I won’t be around here much longer. But please, be careful around him, honey. I see how he looks at you, and I know he’s a charming little thing. But I know you are stronger.”

            I nodded and offered her a little smile despite the fact that my heart was breaking. I realized how close Penny was to crossing over, but didn’t want to admit that it meant she would be leaving me for good. My jaw tightened, and before I could give it a second thought I threw my arms around her shoulder, hugging her tightly.

            “I’ll be careful, I promise.”

-

I didn’t have much trouble keeping my promises to Penny. Over the next few days, I saw almost none of Arthur at all. I spent any free second Penny could spare with her. Just for a few days, my friends could wait—even Jason. My time with Penny was coming to an end, and I didn’t want to believe how dependent on her I’d become. It was a feeling I wasn’t used to, and as selfish as it was, I wanted her to stay.

            I wasn’t ready for her to go that day. I wasn’t ready for her to go ever. She returned to the cemetery, her smile brighter than I’d ever seen it. The second I saw the tears in the corners of her eyes, I knew that it was time. She hugged me tight, and I’m humiliated to admit that I begged her to stay. But she stepped back and took my face in her hands.

            “This isn’t goodbye, pumpkin. You’re my strong girl, and I’m so proud of you. You take good care of yourself, you hear me?” she asked. I nodded dumbly. I didn’t care. I just wanted to hang onto her sweatshirt and go with her. She hugged me hard, one more time. “Good girl. I’ll see you on the other side—I promise,” she winked, and took a final step away from me. “Love you, pumpkin. I’ll see you soon!” And with that, she was gone.

            There was no flash of white light. There was no choir of singing angels. There weren’t even any fucking wind chimes—nothing. She faded into nothingness, and I was standing alone in the clearing.

            I let my knees give way and plopped down in the snow. Tears stung the corners of my eyes. For the second time in the four months since the accident, I lost one of my closest friends.

            That woman strolled out of my life the same way she’d come: umbrella in her hand and a smile on her face.

            “Love you too, Penny,” I murmured to no one, letting my eyes slide shut.