Chapter 1

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"Life sucks...
and then you die..
Yeah, I should be so lucky."
- The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn

Aria

Why did I tell him to leave? I knew he had a plausible explanation and I had every reason to shut him out, but I never thought we would be in this position. There would always be an empty void in my chest that nobody except he could fill. I always believed we were inevitable but, as it turns out, most things almost never go as planned.

I was here. Back to square one.

Maybe I was crazy for telling Ezra Fitz to leave Rosewood and never come back, or maybe I was crazy to let him leave. Hate him or love him, it was the worst decision I had ever made with my life, and, as selfish as it sounds...I hope he feels the same.

Seven Years Later

I stared at the wall blankly, dishes were clanking in the sink from the party Hanna had thrown the previous night. Spencer was on garbage duty and I, was left with nothing to do.

They knew what today was, the day they left me to my own devices. Today was the seventh year that Ezra Fitz left Rosewood and took my heart with him. He bid me farewell and never came back, just as I had asked. And I never saw him once more.

He had two books published and neither of them were about us. His story about Alison DiLaurentis hit shelves five years ago and was a New York Times Best Seller. I hadn't dared to even crack it open...so it sat on my nightstand, mocking me.

I had a significant other in my life, but as fantastic as he was, he wasn't Ezra Fitz. That man had scooped my heart up and shoved a hole through it and that void was only filled when he was around me. It was like speaking in tongues not even I could understand. He always had a new way to make me fall in love with him, and while I knew I had the girls and Riley, nothing felt like it had when I was with him. Hanna always told me that one day, 'all would be right in the world and that void will be gone because I had finally found someone to fill it.'

Unfortunately, it had been almost six months that Riley and I had been officially together-we were seeing each other on and off for a long time-and my void is still there and it eats away at my energy until I can't take it anymore. I'm usually never this sad, or morbid for that matter.

I always get sad and lonely during these months of November. It was a point where I would sleep with anyone to make the feeling go away, but endorphins only last so long until the memory of my idiocy comes back and I'm left with my own thoughts while some tic-tac sleeps next to me, tangled in my sheets, but that was before Riley. Technically. He was my first rebound from Ezra and it was a drunken mistake that I still regret.

"Aria?" It was Hanna. I knew by the soft voice and knock. She poked her head into my bedroom. "Riley's here. I didn't know if you wanted him to come in or not so I was checking to see if you were home." I rolled my eyes and buried my head in my pillow. I shook my head furiously, growling to myself.

"I'm not here. Get me my laptop...please?" I could feel Hanna's eyes droop at my response. She walked further into my room, sitting on my bed. "You know, the more you ignore the opportunity to forget, it's just going to get even more fresh and heartbreaking." I groaned into the pillow, I didn't want to talk about my heartbreak to people, especially people who didn't understand Ezra and I, like we understood.

"Han, please. Just get me my laptop." She sighed, rubbing my back. I knew she was just trying to help but I don't take relationship advice when they're wasn't a relationship to advise.

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