You're Dead To Me {On Hold}

Gingerbread Man

"I need a gingerbread man, the one I'll feed. A gingerbread man, the one I'll eat..." 

Saturday April 28th, 2010

       "I love you, baby."

       "I love you too." 

       Johnny gave a kiss and smiled at me. Johnny got up from the couch and went to the kitchen. I looked at him and when he disappeared from my sight, I turned back to the T.V. The news was on.

       "Breaking news, a murder had just happened on west 96th street. The man accused of committing the murder has just been..." The news anchor reported. I grabbed the remote and switched the channel. The news about the recent murder was on every news channel.  I turned off the T.V. and went to the kitchen to see what Johnny was doing. When I entered the kitchen, Johnny had not been there.  I began to worry and before I freaked out, I checked the bathroom. When I discovered no one in the room, I started to worry. Johnny couldn't have left so quickly. And without telling me? Why would he do that?  My heart began to sped. I didn't bother to look in the house.           

        I went outside and scanned the scene. My phone then vibrated and I took out my phone. I checked the message and saw it was from Johnny.

Johnny: Don't worry, darling, I'm at the store <3

I calmed down when I read the message. I smiled and headed back in. But before I went inside, I received another message, but not from Johnny. It was from my friend, Mariah. 

Mariah: ayyy, friend. whatcha up to? ^v^

I looked up to scan for Johnny one last time, knowing he was at the store. I text Mariah back.

Me: Nothing much. Waiting for Johnny to come bask.

Mariah: bask??? XD 

Me: *back

Then another vibration came from my phone and it wasn't from Mariah but her brother, Sam.

Sam:  MELANIE GUESS WHAT HAPPENED!!!! xD

I laughed a little because Sam was always so happy. It was adorable. 

Me: WHAT SAM WHAT HAPPENED?!? cx 

Sam didn't respond right away. 

Mariah:  wheres your bf anyway?

Me: store... he almost gave me a heart attack

Mariah: haha... you almost died 

I sighed and went back inside the house. Mariah was at her brother's house. Sam still never texted me back. I hoped nothing bad happened to the guy.

But I was sadly mistaken...

I sat back on the couch and stared at the T.V. screen. I had nothing to do then, so I went upstairs. I had a strange feeling telling me not to go in my room, but did I listen? No, of course not. I put my hand on the handle but did not turn it. I suddenly started to hear noises. 

Moaning noises...

I opened the door and saw Johnny. 

Johnny and a basic blonde bitch in our bed. 

OUR bed. My bed. 

They were kissing and hugging and laughing.

They both looked at me and I stood there with wide eyes. Johnny looked at me with no emotion. My eyes started to water and I felt one fall off my cheek. The girl sat up and covered herself. I looked at Johnny and backed away from them. I turn around and leave the room, shutting the door behind me. The tears came out and my face was stained with black tears. My makeup was coming off already. 

Present Day 

I continue looking out the window as the memory of Johnny and that girl played in my head. His smile: Irresistible. His laugh: Memorable. Sometimes it's so hard not to look at him. I heard my room door open but I didn't look to see who it was. 

"Melanie," A deep masculine voice said my name. I know who it is but I don't bother to look. "Um, Melanie." I look at him and see him. 

Johnny.

His dark blue eyes stare at me. He tells me to go downstairs. I don't listen and look back out the window. I can hear him come to me. I feel a hand grab my wrist and pull me up. I let him pull me up, bringing me closer to him. We meet face to face. Well, not really face to face, considering I have to look up at him and he has to look down at me. Johnny is taller than me by 5 inches. I'm 5'3. 

I can feel his body heat. We look at each other for a moment and that is when things get out of control. I look at his lips and wonder if they still feel the same. Soft and warm. As time passes, I realize that I was leaning closer to him. I stop myself and get away from him in disgust. The anger and hate returns. I look at him angry and he looks down. He heads downstairs and I follow him.  I have this urge to just push him. Push him down the stairs and watch him fall down. 

But then again... I just wan to hug him and tell him it's okay. I forgive him.

You don't...

You don't forgive him...

 I don't forgive him. I shouldn't forgive him. Not after what he did to me. Johnny stops in the middle of the steps. I bump into him and he looks behind him. Our eyes meet and I see no emotion in his eyes. He sounded sorry and guilty, but I don't see it. 

"Johnny? Is that you?" A feminine voice says. Johnny goes to her and smiles.

"Uh, sorry to keep you waiting, miss, but I had to get Melanie out of her room." Johnny tells the lady. The lady laughs and looks at me with her dark, almost black brown eyes.

Her dirty blonde hair that is pulled back in a bun makes her look like she is around her late forties. I do not know who she is but she looks oddly familiar. 

"I see," She looks at Johnny and quickly back to me. "It's alright then. Melanie, would you please follow me to the kitchen so we could talk?" I look at Johnny and he smiles a small smile. I look at the lady and she just stares at me. I nod, yes, and follow her to the kitchen. Johnny does not follow.

We both sit across from each other at the kitchen table. She takes out a pen from her hair and lays her journal on the table, opening it and getting ready to write. Wait... is this the lady from the center? The one who selled me out? 

"Hi, Melanie," She starts. "My name is Stacy. I'm not sure if you remember me but I was in the center with-"

"I remember... No need for introductions again..." I snap at her. I look down and my medium length, half black and half curly pink hair falls in my face. 

"Oh," she looks at her journal. " Right. Well Melanie, how are you doing today?" 

"Is it your damn business to know?!" I yell. Stacy flinches. 

"It is my business to know. I am your therapist after all." 

"Was. Don't confuse the two." 

Stacy takes a deep breath. She doesn't say anything for a good minute. 

Good. She needed to be pacified...

Picture: Melanie and Johnny

Song: "Gingerbread Man" by Melanie Martinez