A Matter Of Delicacy

The Bargain

     'What's happened to you?' Princess Caroline glared at me as I knocked the tip of her smallsword out of my face and touched the end of mine to her neck. She was red and sour, furious at having been deprived her usual breakfast in bed at two o'clock in the afternoon and instead being handed a loose, simple gown and a pair of leather boxing strips to wrap around her hands. After a long lesson in how to block blows to the face and stomach, with a healthy side portion of verbal abuse from her, we gave up. She's only got halfway to the refreshments table when I called her name and threw her a smallsword which she caught like it was a snake and stared at me.
     'And what do you expect me to do with this?'
     'I expect you to fight with it, or at least learn how to protect yourself with it,' I said firmly, already turning away towards my starting point.
     'You can't be serious. Me fighting with a sword? It's unseemly.'
     'With respect, Your Highness, last night you had a troupe of semi-clothed men shower you with peacock feathers and feed you fruit, I think your reputation will grow to encompass a few simple sword tricks.'
     'How dare you!' She flung the sword to the ground, 'you step too far Miss Wentworth, and I don't like being forced to remind you of your place.'
     'Then don't. Pick up the sword and we'll spar instead.' I examined my nails; they had become a bizarre mixture of manicured by court life and chipped from training. Anyone who looked closely at them would have no idea what to think.
     The Princess's face had gone even redder than usual, and her mouth had become decidedly pinched. Scowling at me like a child who'd been refused a toy she picked up the sword and stood square onto me. 'I know what's happened, you know. Don't think I don't.'
     'I could think nothing of the kind Your Highness,' I got into a fighting stance and motioned at her to do the same. 'Your intuition is beyond reproach. Bend your legs a bit more, until you feel a strain along your thighs.'
     'My thighs are none of your business. You're angry about something, I can tell.'
     'Your thighs are my business when they can help save your neck. And whether I am angry or not is beside the point.' I held the smallsword out horizontally at my chest. 'Any adversary will most likely come at you like this; it allows for freer movement and a stronger drive with the blade.'
     'It looks positively heathen.'
     'Positively heathen could pierce a hole through your jugular and have you bleed out over the ballroom floor in less than a minute. How would you defend yourself?'
     She walked a few paces closer and examined the stance I was in. After her examination, she moved to a position squatted slightly and bending away from my blade with her own ready to knock it aside.
     'Very good, Your Highness. The best way, however, is to bend the other way as most assailants will be right-handed and it will be more natural for them then to swipe to their left. If you went to the right of the blade, chances are, the next swipe towards you would be weaker and easier to knock aside.'
     She corrected herself and pushed at my blade from that side with her own. Sure enough, my push back was weaker.
     'So why are you angry?' She stepped back, a satisfied expression on her face.
     'Concentrate on the lesson please, Your Highness.'
     'Tell me why and I will.'
     I sighed and turned away, making a show of wiping my blade down with a rag, my hands gripping harder than necessary.
     'Very well, Miss Wentworth, I will set you a challenge. If I get whatever you set me in today's lesson right, you have to answer a question truthfully.'
      I narrowed my eyes.
     'I won't be too harsh. I swear on the Bible if that makes you happier.'
     'You don't care about the Bible.'
     'It's a figure of speech Miss Wentworth. Now, do we have a deal?' She held my face for a good while, giving me her same sly grin.
     'Fine, yes we gave a deal. But you promise to do everything I tell you to do to the best of your ability?'
     She drew a cross over her heart with her free hand.
     'Very well. Please pick up your sword and get into fighting position.'
     She obediently slid into the stance I had shown her earlier, sword arm brought up to protect her chest and body turned slightly to the side, knees bent and feet apart. It was perfect.
I got into my own position and nodded at her to get ready. Like a snake, I snapped forward before she had completely settled and jabbed my sword towards her face, being careful not to go too far and slash her by mistake. But my trepidation was unnecessary, the Princess lurched put of the way of my blade and brought her own up between us.
     'Good!' I shouted.
     She pushed the sword away fast with the flat of her blade and use the opportunity to re-establish her position, moving around me and into her squat again. We circled each other, her breathing heavy but the same determined look in her eyes.
     She lunged forward, bringing her sword in a wide arc towards me. It was a rookie move but performed with enthusiasm and I left it till the last moment to block it, making my motions clear for her to copy later.
     'Bend and block and push and move!' I shouted at her. 'The basis for every move you need to know.'
     'Bend and block and push and move,' she muttered to herself as I swung at her again and she blocked. To challenge her I moved behind her fast and yelled out to shock her. She shrieked and jumped forward, spinning on one heel in a swirl of skirts but managed to bring her sword up just in time to stop my blade.
     'Good! And again,' another jump, another spin and block, this time without the scream. For all her quirks and flaws, I had to admit she learnt fast, and her instincts were good.
     Time for another test. At the next moment, she got within arm's reach I grabbed her with my free hand, spun her around and pinned her against my chest, sword arm pressed against her neck.
     'Miss Wentworth!'
     'Carry on, Your Highness. Hesitation is death.'
     But I needn't have said anything, she had already twisted her head away to prevent me from choking her and had stamped down hard on my foot. I grunted in pain but tightened my grip. Instantly she brought her foot up and kicked me hard in the shin with her heel, bringing her free arm back and elbowing me in the ribs. The combined shock of it forced my arm around her neck to loosen and she wriggled away, spinning and readying her sword for next attack. It was here that I straightened up from fighting stance, smiling, and sheathed my sword.
     'Very good, Your Highness. I think we can stop there. No need to exhaust ourselves.'
     'Speak for yourself... Miss Wentworth.... I could... keep going... for hours.'
     Chuckling to myself, I went to the refreshments table and poured us both glasses of light fruit cordial. The Princess waved me over and grasped at it, already slumped in a chair, sweat beading on her forehead and congealing her face powder.
     'I think that must have been at least eight questions I've won,' she gasped eventually.
     'I make it three.'
     'Three?! That's nonsense, don't insult me. Six.'
     'Four.'
     'Five.'
     'Very well then, five. If it makes you happy.'
     'It does,' she smiled triumphantly.
     I leant back into the white metal chair set out for us on the lawn. Around us, the birds were singing and there was a cool, gentle breeze riffling through the bushes and drying the sweat on our skin. I heard a woman shriek inside the house and another one laugh. Fifty metres away a guardsman shifted his footing and a horse snorted from the other side of the rails. It was such a peaceful morning.
     'Well then Your Highness, I'm all yours. What would you ask of me?'