Flowers for you

Rose

The sound of the waves crashing on the shore had always calmed me. Now though, I was so aware of the frantic beating of my heart that I'd be surprised if Jasper hadn't heard it yet.

We (well, 70% me) were sitting on my spread out coat. We had no time to go and get something else since Jasper quickly made a turn to bring us to my favorite Taco place. We ordered and went off, and now here we were; surrounded by the salty breeze, and me stuffing my face with something close to heaven.

I try to concentrate on my eating or on the open horizon before us. It was already dark, but the moon gave enough light and beyond, I could make out the lights of a ship passing by. I imagined Jasmine on that ship. Sailing away to someplace I would never know of until she wanted me to. She could be looking at the shore right now, smiling or laughing at me. She could be wearing a dress and dancing with a few gentlemen on that ship, not a care in the world. She could be anywhere- and I hoped she was somewhere safe and warm. Not dark and alone- or dead.

I blinked back the tears that surprised me, hoping Jasper had not noticed. I didn't want him to fuss over it like he usually did. I glanced at him discreetly. He was stretched out beside me, his hands behind his head, his eyes closed and worse, his taco untouched. I pursed my lips before one of his eyes shoot open and catch me staring. I blink and look away, hoping it looked casual, and turned my attention back on the ship.

"What else did Jasmine tell you about me?" I ask, swaying my feet side to side. It kind of felt awkward, talking about these things with the guy I was so bent on hating; I had not even remembered the first time we spoke. He remembered it though. I wonder if he felt the same way I did, when Jasmine showed up when I was having the worst night of my life. I shake the thought away. Of course he didn't, because then he would have made an effort to actually talk to me. Right?

"That you often overthink a lot of things," he suddenly says, startling me from my musings. I turn to him and he had both his eyes open now, focused on the cloudless sky above us. "Somehow, she thinks, that it is because you are afraid of making the same mistakes you did before. That somehow, something would come along and snatch your old self out from under the new skin you had built around you."

I scoff at this, turning to focus on my third taco. Somehow, I lost my appetite- my throat dry. Did Jasmine really tell him that? I didn't even tell her that.

"I never pegged you for a worrier," he continues. "Always been the though girl. The girl who always had a goal and a plan that went with it. But Jasmine was the one who showed me that sometimes, even the strongest people have worriers. Have something that could break them apart and I guess, Jasmine had been someone that helped hold you together too, huh?"

I didn't realize he was asking me a question so when I did, I turned to him as he immediately shot up, a crease on his forehead. I was already crying, nodding to him but smiling either way. It was true, all of it was. Jasmine held me perfectly well. She was someone I looked up to, someone who could rein my demons in and not be afraid that I had them.

"Crap," he muttered, running a hand through his hair and looking away. "I didn't mean to make you cry, blondie."

I shake my head at him, a shrill laugh escaping my lips. He looks at me funny before I find my voice again.

"It's okay," I assure him. "I just never knew how much Jasmine completed me. How much she knew about me. I guess I was so used to having her around I just never realized how much of 'me' was because of her."

"Well nothing has changed," he smiles, a small one tinged with a bit of sadness that only surfaced once in a while. "You're still the Patricia you worked so hard on to be. You are also still the Patricia that you grew up to be. Both of these Patricia's needed Jasmine, and both of these Patricia's were loved by her. So you don't have to worry about your old self easing through the cracks. It's alright to break down once in a while."