My Feral

14

Author's Note: Ha! I am super not dead. I just suck at updating on time, which is why I changed the updates from Monday and Sunday to SPORADIC. Because I suck. But, here you go. Have some gay. And why yes, Slit and Capable were betting on when the gay was going to happen between those two idiots. (I am also like super high right now, and my genius self decided to bring my laptop outside with me so I could smoke and write, and now I cannot feel my fingers.) Anyway, enjoy! And, I will try my absolute hardest to not go months between updates again. //

A few days pass, and Max finds himself back in Nux's hospital room, watching the few years younger man sleep and trying to convince himself that he isn't being creepy. More than that, though, he is trying to convince himself that Capable and Slit are delusional and he has no left-over feelings for Nux. But, when he looks at the fact that there is a box with a new pair of Doc Martens wrapped up in paper with cars on it, under the chair he is currently slumped in, all of his arguments fall flat. Because, when faced with a truth so profound and obvious, even Max's trauma and anxiety and guilt over maybe/maybe not betraying the memory of Jessie agree with him that he is well and truly infatuated. And, damn it all, he doesn't mind it that much.

Just as Max's knee is starting to complain at him for not moving for so long, Nux stirs and blinks sleep-blurred eyes at Max, who can feel himself turning a bright shade of pink. Yawning and stretching, Nux winces at the twinge in his broken arm caused by the movement and reaches up to scratch at the bandages wrapped around his head.

Leaning forward, Max takes Nux's hand in his own. They stay like that for a few beats, before Max coughs and sits back in his chair.

"Ah," Max says, rubbing his hands together, "was in love with you, ya know."

If at all possible, Nux turns a paler shade of white as his eyes fill with tears.

It was Max's Senior year in high school, and Nux's Sophomore year, when everything that they had built up came crumbling down on top of them.

Max was getting more involved with self-defense classes and other course work that would enable him to get a jump start in college that would eventually land him in the town's local police academy.

Nux was living in a small apartment with Slit, in the same complex that Max lived in. The brothers had moved into the complex after hopping around from place to place for a couple years after Slit had killed their father, Joe.

And, dammit, things were good. They really were. Max would sleep over most nights at the brother's apartment, falling asleep curled up around Nux while Slit baked too many pastries for all of them to eat and kept an eye on the two.

Then, three months later, Max and Nux were laying on the floor of Nux's room, passing back and forth a bottle of apple cider, Nux suddenly jumped to his feet and just stood there, glaring down at Max. "I hate you," Nux growled, the words dropping like venom.

Max laid on the ground for a few more seconds, feeling an incredulous laugh building in his chest, but when Nux kicked him in the knee hard enough to leave a week long limp, he was quickly on his feet as well. The two young men stood there then, facing each other, Nux already an inch taller than Max and twice as thin. Swallowing around the lump in his throat, Max reached out to put his hands on Nux's shoulders, which is when his boyfriend punched him in the face.

Stumbling back, knee buckling under him, Max fell back against Nux's unmade bed, clutching his throbbing eye. Then, before he could even right himself, the younger boy was delivering another swift kick to the same knee. With tears in his eyes, Nux yelled, "I said 'I hate you,' now get the fuck out of my apartment!"

Max goes then, grabbing his leather jacket off the floor and quickly leaving the bedroom. Sparing only a glance towards Slit, who was elbow deep in flour, Max shut the apartment door behind him and fled back to his own.

Then, when Nux wasn't at school for two weeks, Max went over to their apartment. Knocking on the door, he jumped when it opened, but stepped inside anyway. The first thing he saw was, to his dismay, not the brothers, but a pile of fliers on the table advertising the apartment as being for sale.

Max didn't bother to look through the rest of the apartment, because he already knew that it would be gutted of everything that made it Slit and Nux's. They were gone. Nux was gone. And they had left without saying goodbye.

A hand on Max's arm snaps him out of the flashback. Blinking his eyes, he sees Nux slowly come into focus, who is kneeling on the edge of his hospital bed in order to move his good hand from Max's arm to his face. He is still crying, tears rolling down his pale cheeks. Sniffing, he says quietly, "I was in love with you, too."

Max makes a startled sound halfway between a laugh and a cough, reaching into his shirt and pulling out a plain silver ring on a leather cord. Holding it up between them, they watch as it spins and catches the light from the early-morning sun slipping in through the cracks in the blinds. Clearing his throat, Max says, "Jessie, ah, my wife, she used to ask me what this ring was. But, when I'd go quiet for days afterward, she didn't ask anymore. But, I think she knew that it wasn't for her, and that kind of killed me because I didn't want to hurt her."

Nux leans forward again, using his good arm to balance himself against Max's shoulder, and nuzzling into the older man's neck, replies, "I don't think it hurt her as much as you thought it did, Max. You've just always had ridiculously low self esteem."

Huffing out a laugh, Max moves so that he is kind of holding Nux as he shuffles them around so that they're both laying on the hospital bed. Nux makes a contented sleepy sound and curls up against his old flame, closing his eyes, falling back asleep in moments.

Max finds himself watching the younger man, again telling himself that he isn't being creepy. Leaning down, he whispers in Nux's ear, "gods, I'm still in love with you."

----

A couple hours later, Slit and Capable stand in the hospital room's doorway, watching Max and Nux as they sleep, curled up around each other. "Mmmm, how sweet," Slit says, turning to Capable and grinning widely, "you owe me five dollars."