perfect wind

The Girl

March 28th 2006
The wind had gotten stronger. It forced strands of hair out of her perfect ponytail as if freeing them from an undeserved imprisonment.
She didn't like the wind. All it did was mess things up. As she continued her battle against it, peddling as hard as she could to reach the studios in time, she couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if she had simply... simply done things differently.

August 14th 2014
Her hair was cut short. No amount of wind could ruin this day.
Glancing at the clock one last time, she hurried to get everything ready. One glass filled with champagne, one with orange juice. Eight lit candles, one for every year they had been together. In the middle of the table, a dish of his favorite food, lasagne. It was perfect. Everything was perfect.

Her face lit up when she heard the key tun in the lock. She smiled at his confused expression as he took everything in. His eyes swept across the room, analyzing every item, every change in her expression. It was only when he hesitantly reached for the glass of champagne that it hit him, all at once. She had known his reaction would be priceless, but this was more than what she could have hoped for. He swept her of her feet, kissing her as long as he could before having to come up for air. Tentatively, he placed a hand on her stomach. He was happy. It was perfect. It was meant to be.

He had gone back into work. She was left alone with the remains of their joyful dinner, a dreadful silence in the air, like the calmness after a storm. Ignoring the dirty dishes, she climbed the stairs into their bedroom, running her fingers along the newly painted walls. She didn't know what made her do it, but she reached under her side of the bed and pulled out the cardboard box. Photo after photo she held up to the light, smiling sadly at the images of herself as a happy teenager with not a care in the world. That ponytail. That perfect, perfect ponytail. No sign of the wind.

Wind. It was as if the wind had come out of nowhere, picked her up and carried her far away from that life. She was here now. All the wrong hopes, dreams and wishes had been fulfilled. What was she doing here? Wind. If only it hadn't been for the wind. She could have done things differently, could be living the life she had always dreamed of. Clutching that last photo in her hand, the last photo before the wind, she closed her eyes. If only.

March 28th 2006
Tossing the bright purple backpack into one corner and her faded jeans jacket in the other, she called out greetings to her mother and ran up the stairs to hug her father. She hadn't seen him in weeks and had missed him dearly. All she had with him were a precious few days before he flew back to the base, and she intended to spend every second with him.

The door to his study flew open as she reached for it. Laughing at the thought that he had missed her just as much, she raced into the room ready to in gulf him in a bear hug. Then she noticed the woman. She was just standing there, her shoulders hunched, nothing covering her but a wrinkled jacket. The look of betrayal on the girls face made her father wrench with guilt. He stood there, helplessly, as she silently turned around and ran away, slamming the door behind her. The woman hurriedly pulled on her clothes and, avoiding any eye contact with the father, left the house, muttering an apology under her breath. The wind was there.

She was distraught. No words from her father could change her mind from what she was about to do. She could think of nothing but the pain her father had caused her. Her mother didn't deserve that pain, but what she deserved even less was the betrayal and the lie. She would tell her mother. They would pack their things and leave, leave behind all memories of that life.

August 14th 2014
It had been the wrong decision. There wasn't a day that went by when she didn't blame herself for breaking her mother. The pain it had caused her was to great to ever recover from. She should have let it be. Then, maybe, she would be living the life she had wanted. What would have happened if she had just kept her mouth shut?

2006
She didn't tell her mother. Her father still loved her, and he had promised the girl that he would stay faithful until the end of time. Instead of jumping on her bike at the last minute, she got ready in time. After touching up her makeup and pulling her ponytail tighter, she started biking while the air was still calm. The wind only came up once she had arrived, and it didn't bother her then. It was simply a sound she could hear outside.

The photoshoot went well. She didn't run out of the door, straight into the man she would have later married. She took her time gathering her things and walked out of the studios calmly and poised. The wind had passed when she left.

Two weeks later, she heard back from the agency. Now officially a model, she decided to get into shape. A gig had been booked for her in only one months time, and she had to get ready for it. After eating little to nothing for a week, she gave in and stuffed herself with food, only to diet it away again.
Despite having kept her fathers secret, her parents were still fighting. Her life was, once again, not going in the direction she had dreamed of. The wind was back. How she hated that wind.

She met a girl. At the after party of that first modeling job. Loreley was everything she had ever wanted. Charming, hilarious and beautiful, she possessed that uncanny ability to make anyone feel good about themselves, no matter what was going on in their lives. It was because of Loreley that she stopped dieting. She switched from modeling to acting, and Loreley supported her through everything, even when she wasn't getting hired and came home in a worse mood everyday. She hadn't spoken to her parents since she had moved in with Loreley.

Her life was not perfect. The wind was still there. Every once in a while, it would chip away at the safe haven she had built for herself. Together with Loreley, she always found ways to fill the gaps. Loreley worked as a photographer and made just enough money for them to live a comfortable life. She still didn't have the job she had wanted, but she had the girl. She proposed to Loreley eleven years after they had met. They got married on the side of a mountain in front of only their closest friends. She refused to let her father walk her down the aisle.

When she felt the wind in her hair while reciting her vows to Loreley, she didn't think of it as a destructive force anymore. It was more like a fierce but loving force that had pulled them all together, wrapped itself around them and turned them into the two woman they were today. She was finally at peace with herself.

August 14th 2014
She put the box away. There was no use in wondering what might have happened. Breathing deeply, she placed her hands on her stomach. This was how her life had turned out. She vowed to keep it together for the baby, to give it the life she had wanted. She would sacrifice anything for it.

April 3rd 2015
Her daughter was born during a storm. The wind seeped through the walls of the hospital, wrapping itself around them and giving her hope that this was not the end. Rachel named her Loreley. She grew up to be charming, hilarious and beautiful, and possessed that uncanny ability to make anyone feel good about themselves, no matter what was going on in their lives. It was perfect.