Losing Love

Chapter 2

Slamming the door on her should have made him feel good. Oddly enough slamming the door did nothing for him. The sound just felt hollow. It only made him feel more empty inside. The thought of not having Dara in his life, he couldn't even imagine it but this couldn't go on forever. He couldn't just go on like this forever. Something is bound to break.

The beat of the throbbing music called out to him. He needed to drown himself in something. He moved towards the music feeling the pull of the one thing in this world other than Dara that makes him feel sane. He let the rhythm wash over him. He bobbed his head in time with the music in a desperate attempt to keep himself moving. He knew that if he stopped right at that moment he'd just break down. Soon enough he was riding the music's rhythm and he was dancing in time with the beat.

No one would think he was broken inside by just looking at him. He was jumping up and down with the crowd a grin was almost permanently plastered on his face. Someone from his squad handed him a drink. He downed it in one long swig. Someone tapped him in the back and handed him another drink. "Haven't seen you drink like that in a long while, man. Tough night, huh? Here have some more the night's just starting." They clinked their glasses together saluting the night.

Then he felt something soft rub on his arm. It was followed by fingers trailing delicately down his arm. His initial reaction was to stiffen his body and move away.  But just then he looked up and met Dara's stricken eyes across the room.

He was suddenly possessed with the need to strike back at her. To make her feel the pain and frustration he feels when he sees her being paired off with her fanboys. He wanted so many times to stake his claim on her but he couldn't because he wanted to respect her decision to keep things secret.

So he curved his arm around the warm body of the girl who latched on him while never once breaking eye contact from Dara. Let her taste the bitterness of her own medicine, he thought. He raised an eyebrow and gave her his signature lopsided smirk. He almost regretted doing so when he saw the pain on Dara's face but he was already on a roll and he couldn't stop. For once it felt good to see her also in pain.

As soon as he saw Dara turn around and walk away he purposely removed the body draping all over him and said coldly, "Get off me." He followed Dara's movement across the crowded room with his eyes. He saw Bajowoo trailing after the girl. He saw them both go out the club through the back door. He felt some relief that his friend was with her. He knew that Bajowoo would take care of Dara for him.

After they left, he didn't feel up to dancing anymore. The house music did not seem to penetrate through the pain anymore. Seeing her turning her back on him and leaving brought back the pain in full force. The music no longer enough to dull it. He needed something much more potent to anesthetize the ache.

He approached the bar and told the bartender to give him a bottle of their strongest drink. He poured himself glass after glass. Was it his second or third bottle? Who cares, anyway? If anyone was counting it wasn't Jiyong, for sure. He couldn't remember how many drinks he's had but he felt that he needed more. He wanted to stop feeling anything even for just a night.

He was pouring himself another glass when someone snatched the bottle from him. "That's enough, Jiyong. You'll kill yourself if you'll have more." It was Bajowoo. "Pfft. Who cares if I kill myself, huh? No one would  fxxking care."

"Dara would. She'd be devastated if something happens to you. Not to mention your family and the millions of GD fans all over the world." He grabbed Jiyong's arm to help him up. "Let's go. You've already done enough damage for the night."

Jiyong roughly pulled his arm from Bajowoo's grasp. "No you let go of me. What do you care if I drink myself to death? I was your friend first but what did you do? You saw to her first. What happened to loyalty?" Jiyong punctuated every sentence with a finger poking on his friends chest.

Bajowoo calmly looked at him, "You'll regret everything you did tonight when you wake up in the morning. Go home and rest. Stop before you ruin everything with Dara." Jiyong drunkenly stood up and tried to swing a punch at him. "I won't regret anything." He swung again and missed, stumbling in the process. Bajowoo just calmly sidestepped and  motioned to Jiyong's bodyguards, silently ordering them to bring his friend home.

"Where are you taking me?" Jiyong struggled weakly against his bodyguards' hold. "Just go with them, Jiyong." Bajowoo said weariedly. "You need to rest. Dara asked me to go back here to make sure you're okay."

Hearing Dara's name Jiyong struggled some more. "It's Dara again. Don't you ever say that name in front of me again." Bajowoo nodded at the bodyguards and they carried him out of the club and into the waiting car on the street.

"I don't want to hear Dara's name again." Then while they were halfway near the car, he felt this immense sadness. He remembered looking at Dara's back as she walked away. She never looked back at him. Then the idea sunk on him. What if he really lost her this time?

"No!" His screams were muffled. His body guards were crowding him. Shielding him from the cameras of the paparazzi. "Dara come back. Dara come back to me." He was drunkenly crying out. His bodyguards laid him across the car's back seat.

For a second the street lights and the flash of a camera temporarily blinded him when his bodyguards stepped back before closing the car's door. He flung an arm across his eyes. They quickly closed the door and he was shrouded in darkness. He welcomed the darkness. It suited his bleak mood. He curled up his knees and allowed the gentle rocking of the moving car to lull him to sleep.