The Road Home

Part 16

"Jesus payed much to high a price, for us to pick and choose who should come.  And we are the body of Christ." -Casting Crowns, If We Are The Body

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I roll over checking the time on my clock and see it's only 4:30 am.  Still way to early, I groan sitting up.  I grab a sweatshirt and walk out of my room stopping in front of Jared's and Ethan's old room.  I grab the handle, pausing for a minute.  I take a deep breath opening the door and walking in.  It still looks the same.  

It still has the same cluttered book shelves and messy desk on Jared's side, and the organized clutter along the wall by Ethan's bed.  I walk over to the old beat up coach that was between the two beds and sit down.  Laying back I stare at their ceiling, and roll onto my side staring at the deep brown wall across from me.  I can remember when they decided they wanted to redo their bedroom and they argument over if the walls should all be one color or if they needed different walls.  In the end they painted the one wall brown and the other three a dark blue.  After a while I drift off, thinking about my brothers and what they could have been doing if they were still alive.

I slowly open my eyes, as I feel a warm hand on my shoulder.  "Hey,"  Yawning I sit up, "What time is it?"  

Owen gives me a small smile and sits next to me.  "About 6:30, I was going to go start breakfast, since you weren't out there yet.  But then I came up to check Jenna, and saw the door was partly open."

I yawn leaning against his shoulder,  "I couldn't sleep and kept waking up."  

He turns his head slightly, pressing his lips to my temple.  "I didn't know you still came in here.  You spent so much time in here the first few weeks after you left the hospital, but as soon as your parents left you jumped back into working."  He loops our fingers together and stands pulling me with him. "Don't think I forgot what today is."  I look at him and raise a brow, "It's your birthday B." 

I walk towards the door dragging him behind me.  "Oh yippy.  I don't really care if it is or not.  We've got work to do."  I peak into Jenna's room and see her sitting in her crib pulling on her feet, and babbling.  I smile walking over and lifting her up.  "Hey there sweetheart.  Look who's over there,"  I say softly pointing to Owen who stopped at the doorway.   "It's daddy.  He's silly, look at him his hair's all messy and sticking up."  She looks at him and giggles stretching out her hands and staring at him.

"Daddy!"  She says leaning over towards him.  I set her on the floor and watch as she stumbles over and wraps her little arms around his leg, and promptly sits on his foot.  "Hi."  She grins up at him and sticks her tongue out for a second before closing her mouth and staring at him.  Owen grins, lifting his foot up a few inches, and her eyes go wide.  "OOOOHHHHH WEEEEEEEE."  Jenna says as she leans back.  Owen lets his foot fall back to the floor and Jenna lets go of his leg and plops backwards so she's laying on her back.  

"Well hey there goofball."  Owen smiles down at his daughter before reaching his hand down to her.  She rolls onto her belly and looks at it, as if contemplating what he wants. She slowly stands up grabbing onto his thumb and starts walking trying to pull him with her.  

XxXxXxXxX 2 hours later about 8:45am XxXxXxX

Sitting in the chair next to Owen and Jenna, I look straight forward at the front of the little church.  Logan sits on their other side with his bible draped across his lap.  "Would you please stand if you are able and join us for a few songs to begin our service today."  Says our lead worship leader Quinton.  

The music starts bringing us into the first song.  I start singing along with the music and hear Owen's voice start next to me as well.

Open the eyes of my heart, Lord
Open the eyes of my heart
I want to see You
I want to see You

Open the eyes of my heart, Lord
Open the eyes of my heart
I want to see You
I want to see You

To see You high and lifted up
Shinin' in the light of Your glory
Pour out Your power and love
As we sing holy, holy, holy  

The part repeats two more times before coming to the end.

Holy, holy, holy
We cry holy, holy, holy
You are holy, holy, holy
I want to see you    
(x3)

I stand with my eyes closed and my hands raised out in front of me.  The intro to Amazing Grace begins and everyone sings along, and I hear Jenna trying to dance in Owens arms.  Smiling he sets her down in front of him, letting her spin in circles and walk side to side.  The music slows to a stop and we stand in silence for a moment before the pastor walks to the front. "You may take your seats.  Thank you for a wonderful worship.  To start we are talking about Genesis 28, specifically verse 15.  If you would like to read along with me turn to it in your bibles.  It reads 'I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land.  I will not leave you until I have done as I promised you.'  Now if you remember, this is God talking to Jacob in a dream.  In my belief this is God's way of telling us that no matter what we are going through, he will always be there, he will always be watching over us.  He promised Jacob that he would guide him safely home after he completed what needed to be done.  God will always guide us home, as he never leaves us."  The pastor pauses pacing across the front of the room, "There is a story that seems to fit with this verse.  It really is a poem, Footprints in the Sand by Mary Fishback, and it reads;

One night I dreamed a dream.
As I was walking along the beach with my Lord.
Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand,
One belonging to me and one to my Lord.

After the last scene of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that at many times along the path of my life,
especially at the very lowest and saddest times,
there was only one set of footprints.

This really troubled me, so I asked the Lord about it.
'Lord, you said once I decided to follow you,
You'd walk with me all the way.
But I noticed that during the saddest and most troublesome times of my life,
there was only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why, when I needed You the most, You would leave me.'

He whispered, 'My precious child, I love you and will never leave you
Never, ever, during your trials and testings.
When you saw only one set of footprints,
It was then that I carried you.'

Each person may see this differently but, I believe it is saying the same thing as the Genesis 28:15, that God is always there and is always watching over us, and when we need him he will be there." 

Half an hour later the service comes to an end and we all stand up and get ready to go home.  Walking in to the parking lot, Logan stops me.  "Can I get a break for the next couple hours?  A few of my army buddies are home on leave and we planned to hang out at somebodies house for a while."

I nod at him, "Yeah go ahead.  You can take the day off, we don't have a lot to do today so we can manage.  Go have a good time, and hang out with your friends."  I give him a half hug waving as I walk to Owens truck and hop in the passenger side.

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Here we go and update!  Yippy!  The verse and poem in here are already titled/labeled in the chapter so I dont have to do that here

Hope you like this, I hadn't done a church service yet so here it is