shattered. (lrh)

one.

That should have been the end for me that night. The last breath I would ever take. The last ounce of pain I would ever feel. Instead, I wake up. How? I have no idea, the doctors say it was a miracle and that I should be grateful. Why? Why in the world would I be grateful for being alive when I wanted the exact opposite? Now, I sit in a mental hospital with my newly found friends, bored out of our minds.

"I swear to god that Yonna bitch will be the death of me." I hear Jhakeria start to rant, as she walks into the lounge.

"Oh god. What did the devil do this time?" I ask. Rebekah starts to laugh at my sarcastic tone.

"This bitch thinks she is so sly! She is saying shit about me! Like, say it to my face bitch!" Jhakeria starts to raise her voice, but Kayla quickly shushes her making sure Nate, the staff member, didn't here us.

"Jhakeria, we understand your annoyance, but shut up! You know how much Nate hates the drama. We cannot get lectured again!" Kayla explains. She is right. Nate has yelled at us about the drama before and doesn't hesitate to assume who it is about. It is kind of funny because he thinks he knows what is happening but he has never been close.

"Honestly though, I despise Yonna. She is such a slut! I can't wait to see what she does with that new boy! Damn he's yummy." Typical. Jhakeria is very quick to hate people, but I have to agree on this one completely. Yonna has already managed to get herself a girlfriend, she already has a girlfriend back home, and she continues to hit on the guys here. I mean all of the guys here have rejected her because she is a grade a hoe. Wait.

"What new boy?" I ask, suddenly interested in the conversation.

Jhakeria laughs at my sudden interest, "I don't know his name. By the looks of it, he just got here. I saw him at the nurses' station, and damn he's fine!"

I was about to ask what he looked like when a nurse walked into the lounge with a very tall blonde guy following her. The nurse gave Nate some papers and left the poor boy standing there awkwardly. I saw Jhakeria gesturing, with a weird head motion and raised eyebrows, towards the boy. So this is the new guy. I can't tell if he is "yummy" because his head is facing the floor.

"Hey! New kid! Come sit with us!" I semi-yell across the lounge area. His head shoots up at my voice. "Holy shit." I gasp when I see his face. It's him. His eyes meet mine and I can feel my face burn up in anger. What in the world is he doing here? One of the people who ruined my life is standing right in front of me. The boy who would stand by and let his 'posse' slowly drive me to suicide. The reason I was in this place was because of him. Every single day his group made it their goal to make my day hell.

"Jess." He whispered in shock. "You're alive. Oh thank god." Was he relieved? Was he happy that I was here? No. That can't be. He hates me.

"What?" I sputter out. He can't be relieved to see me can he? Wait why is he here? Why is in a mental hospital? I stood up, "Why the fuck are you here? What is Mr. Popular doing in a mental hospital? Oh I can't believe I'm going to miss the heathen's reaction when she pulls her head out of her ass to notice that her boy toy isn't with her! How is that bitch anyways? Still obsessed with being prom queen?"

"Heather is fine." He says, obviously to correct me.

I laugh, "Oh I know what the whore's name is. Remember we were best friends before she turned the entire school against me?"

"I remember. Look Jess I'm so sorry for everything." he started to say.

"Huh? Was that an apology?" I raise my voice," Was that a sad attempt at an apology for you and your friends torturing me throughout all my years of school with you? Was that you trying to say sorry for all the awful words, that eventually drove me to want to die?" I paused to laugh at his shocked expression. "What? Are you shocked that I'm standing up for myself or the fact that you were the reason I attempted suicide? I'm guessing the first one, right? Because I'm just the ugly bitch that you all took the joy in harassing for five years. I couldn't possibly have feelings right? I couldn't possibly stand up to the asshole who ruined me!"

"Jess-" his voice cracks and he starts sobbing. I stand there shocked. Is he crying? Why is he crying? "Jess, I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say. Nothing I say can take back the things I said and did to you. Nothing can help. I've spent every hour of every day thinking of it since your mom told me you overdosed. I don't know what to say, and frankly all I can think is how happy I am that you are alive."

"You spoke to my mother?" I asked.

He nodded quickly, "You weren't at school for two weeks, so I got worried and went to your house to see if you were okay. Your mom answered the door and asked who I was. I didn't know if you had told her that I was a dick to you or not so I just said I was in your science class. She then proceeded to tell me you had well- you know, but I didn't hear the rest because I was shocked and ran. I spent the whole night blaming myself. I thought you were dead Jess. I thought I could never apologize. I was devastated. I didn't go to school, I didn't leave the house. I couldn't take the guilt anymore so I got really fucking drunk and almost did something idiot, but Cal happened to find me- and called the cops."

"Y-you went to my house to check on me?" I stood there shocked.

"Yeah." He said rubbing the back of his neck, while looking at everyone around us. He cares? He looks like he actually cares.

Suddenly overwhelmed with feelings, I walked out of the lounge and to my room. I close the door behind me, thanking the lords that my roommates aren't here. I curl up in my bed and start to silently sob myself to sleep.

What the hell just happened?

updated a/n

i hope you guys enjoy this story!

-erin