The Things I Notice

Crayons

When you push a crayon to hard

It snaps in half

You can't use it the same way you did before

No matter how hard you try

The shading would be off

And it would ruin your whole picture

Using a new color wouldn't match the scene

And it would know that it wasn't the right one

My mother would take away colors

When she saw the pile of broken sticks

Saying that I was to forceful and needed to let go

Leaving me with a half colored picture and a tear stained hand

My father was the only one who would admire my colors

He would hang them on the refrigerator door with pride and a smile on his lips

Taping my broken crayons back together

He whispered for me to keep going with his whiskey breath

My sister was jealous of my talent

She hated how well I could draw

With my crayons in her hand, she scribbled across my art

So that nobody else could enjoy it anymore

Now as I got older

I learned to never push to hard for to long

 In fear of breaking more then one beautiful color

It was now more impulse then a taught lesson

So when I met you

I loved you far to much

And you painted me like a beautiful canvas

But I couldn't return the gift

Because when I love

I love with such a powerful force

A force that could break the largest of beings

And I could not love you like I did my crayons

I set you aside

And told myself to be gentle

For I could never forgive myself

If I broke you in two

But you held fast to me

And I could feel you breaking under my hand

The cracks getting deeper then the one forming down my heart

I had to let you go

Your tip was worn

And your wrapping soiled

My hands bled your color

As I set you away like the others

Now I stand behind a blank canvas

With a single color in my hand

To afraid to paint with my own heart

In fear of loving something worth breaking

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Letting yourself get attached to someone, and loving someone are two very different things.

-TaylorMarie