Maybe it's me. Or it was. Maybe he lied. Maybe I believed him. Maybe he told the truth. Maybe I took it too seriously. Maybe he didn't want to hurt me. Maybe he was scared....maybe I shouldn't justify him. Maybe I should be angry. But I am...but I love him, I won't deny it. Maybe I'm too needy. Maybe it's the hospital. The fact I'm slowly dying, maybe he feels like I'm being held down by him. Maybe he just didn't know what to do. Maybe I should've spoken first. Maybe he didn't feel stupid for leaving me the first time, or maybe he did. Maybe he meant he was pissed at me that I still felt love for him. Maybe I pushed him too far. Maybe I was not good enough. Maybe it was our different views. Maybe the fact that I don't want to lose my virginity before marriage...was it the purity ring that pushed him away? Maybe God is saying "have patience he'll come around". Maybe he's saying "it's not meant to be." I don't know. Maybe it was me....no, it WAS me, it IS me. My fault.
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My Heart Stays Still
Random"Of course I still love him....I doubt I'll ever stop and I know he believes I'll find someone better. Jonathon, believe me, I hold you to no standards and I love you as you are, there could never be another....so why? What happened, and why didn't...
