∘minizerk
(Title comes into play in the next part)
Pastel Simon x punk Josh
Josh's pov
It has been two weeks now since I found out about Simon's secret. I can't believe I've been dating him for 7 months now and I had never noticed it before. No wonder he was always so skittish about changing or taking his shirt off. I just thought he was really shy. I mean I had seen some of the scars, the one across his cheek and above his left eyebrow. Every once in a while I'd see the little ones on his forearms but....I didn't know he had so many.
When Simon told me about his past, about all the horrific beatings his father put him and his mom through, it was so hard to comprehend. How could anyone hurt my love? My beautiful sweet boyfriend that could never hurt a fly. I just don't understand why some people get so angry when they see him in flower crowns. When they catch him in pink or baby blue hues. It's his life, his decisions and it makes him happy. It makes me happy. But his father was another story....
The fact that a man could repetitively inflict pain on his own son because he was gay and his own wife because she supported him sickened me. When he told me, when he finally released his sorrows after about my 10th times asking him if he was alright I was in shock. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that someone wanted to hurt him. That someone who was suppose to love him was purposefully making his life hell. Asshole. That's what his father was. Leaving those marks on his son to haunt him, to remind him everyday of the pain, I have to fix it. I have to try and make Simon happy again. Lately those scars have been dragging him to a dark place and I can't let the light fade from his beautiful blue eyes. I sighed. It's late Josh, you can talk to him tomorrow just get some sleep.
𑁍 -the next day- 𑁍
"Hey Si," I said after I had caught up with him. We were making our way to his locker.
"Hi Josh," he said back smiling
"Hey um listen I gotta run, if I'm late to Miss. Sommer's class one more time I'll be a dead man. She thinks I'm the biggest juvenile delinquent thats ever roamed these halls." I rolled my eyes and Simon laughed. "Anyways can you meet me in the library 4th, we don't have to stay there but I wanna talk to you" I gave him a soft smile.
"ok students that was your 5 minute bell you have approximately 5 more minutes to get to class"
"Shit, I gotta go." I looked around quick to make sure no one was looking our way and gave Simon a quick peck on the cheek. "See you then!" I said proceeding to head up to my history class.
Simon's pov
The bell had rung yet again and it was finally 4th period. Josh has been the only thing on my mind all day. I'm dying to know what he wants to talk about, yet at the same time I'm nervous. Serious talks were never my thing. I made my way through the halls crowded with idiots until I was on the first floor outside the library door.
I walked in, fiddling with the sleeves of my lilac jumper and scanned the large room, eyes peeled for my lovable punk. Sure enough I see him sitting alone at a far table, our eyes met and I smiled as he waved at me slightly. I headed over and took a seat at the dark oak table.
"Hey," I said taking a seat in the old rickety chair.
"Hey."
"So um, you said you wanted to talk to me"
"Yeah, listen Si I'm just gonna cut to the chase. I love you....so much." I inhaled sharply, my mind fillings with millions of possible outcomes for this situation.
"And....I, I know something is up Simon. You've been so down lately, I can see it in your eyes. They usually hold so much light and it seems as if they've dulled." I looked down. Why did I think he wouldn't notice.
"Simon look at me. Please tell me what's wrong. It hurts me to see you like this. Please"
I slowly lifted my head. My eyes shifted from his down to my arms and back up to his warm hazel orbs. His eyes pleaded for me to speak. He cares about me I know he does and I cant worry him any more than I already have.
"It's the scars." Josh took a deep breath and nodded his head. "I-i don't know why Josh, they never use to make me feel this way, of course I never liked them but recently they've made me miserable...I've always tried to cover them up ya know. It just wasn't something I wanted the world to see. But a couple weeks ago during gym....someone saw. I make sure to change last or away from everyone so no one sees but that fucking asshole Jj came up to me just as I was taking my shirt off. Wanted me to do his math homework or some bullshit, he saw Josh...and he was disgusted. A-and that made me realize I am too. Josh my body is almost entirely covered in these ugly scars and marks and I'm sick of it. My arms, my legs, my chest, my back, my face. It hurts when your entire gym class who already think your a freak for liking pink find out about your biggest insecurities, then proceed to think its the funniest shit they've heard in ten years. It hurts Josh. I'm a mess inside and out." Tears had welled in my eyes. It's true, every word. I hate these scars more than anything, it's a constant memory of the bad times in my life and it makes me look like a freak. A horrible mutation of skin and bones that the universe fucked up upon making.
"Josh I can't live with this, it hurts too much." A few tears had begun sliding down my cheeks and I tried so hard to make them stop but I couldn't succeed.
Josh lifted his hand and brought it up to my face, carefully and gently wiping away my on slot of tears. He got up and walked to my side of the table hand quickly grabbing for mine. I let him take my hand as he pulled me out of the chair and led me of the library with no words exchanged.
"Josh w-what are-"
"Shhhh." He hushed me and he led me quickly through the hallway, stopping in front of a janitors closet.
Josh opened the door of the closet pulled me in and slammed it shut behind us. I was still confused as to what he was doing but my thoughts were interrupted by his arms engulfing me in a hug.
"I'm so sorry Simon." Josh spoke close to my ear and I understood what he did. He wanted me to have a safe place to cry. Water yet again pricked in my eyes and a few drops made there way down my cheeks, dousing Josh's black t-shirt. His grip on me tightened and it was these times that I appreciated Josh the most. He loved me enough to deal with all of my bullshit and his touch managed to make me feel safe from all of my problems.
I felt his hand come up to the back of my head, cradling it and allowing my face to rest in the crook of his neck. His hand ran softly through my thick hair and his other stayed firmly wrapped around my lanky frame. We stayed like this for a few more minutes until I had calmed down.
"You wanna go back to the library?" Josh asked softly. I shook my head
"No not really"
Josh gave me a small smile understanding my wants. He shuffled around in the closet moving some cleaning supplies and sat down on the ground. His hand pat the empty spot on the floor next to him and my mouth turned upwards. I quickly flicked off the closet lights so no one would suspect us in here, and went to sit with my boyfriend. I sat comfortably leaning into Josh, my head on his chest and his arm around my shoulder. I felt a light kiss placed on the top of my head. I smiled. We stayed like this, silent and enjoying each other's presence for the rest of 4th period. Then it was back to hell.
