∘wroetozerk
Angsty stuff
(Note: this oneshot takes place a day after callux's vlog "it got so much worse" aka the one where Cal Cal and Harry are all really damn drunk)
Josh's pov:
I was in the middle of editing a video when I heard a small knock on my door. I gave a short "come in" and continued to work on my new gaming video. My eyes stayed glued to the screen as I clicked away with my mouse, expecting to hear a simple question from Simon or Vik asking me what I want for dinner. When no one spoke I shifted my chair back and looked into my doorframe to see Harry standing with an anxious look spread across his face. Guilt washed over me immediately as I had just ignored the sweet small boy that looked a little upset.
"Hey Harry, what's up? When did you get here?"
"A few minutes ago....Uhh Josh...can I talk to you. Please."
My expression visibly softened as my brain manufactured several possible outcomes to the the conversation Harry was about to have with me. I bit the inside of my lip, instantly resorting to worrying for my close friend as we never really have serious talks and since i can't help but care so greatly about the youngest sidemen.
"Yeah of course, come sit." I said while motioning for the dirty blonde boy to sit on my bed. I stood up and walked to him, pulling over my rolling chair and taking a seat in front of Harry.
"So um, what's going on?"
Harry put his head down. "Did you see lux's new vlog?"
I tried to cover up the anger that was immediately boiling inside of me. I had seen Cal's vlog and it had easily became my least favorite video on the site just from the first 4 minutes. Harry was completely smashed for almost that whole vlog and it pissed me off seeing him be so careless about his safety. Plus the other two idiots didn't monitor themselves or Harry at all. They should have been looking after him. It was all Freezy's idea anyways and sometimes I just don't think he's influencing Harry in the right ways. For gods sake he was literally helping the poor kid walk and then left him to go get more fucking drinks. Harry is precious and needs to be taken care of, not handed endless amounts of cocktails. I swallowed hard, "Yes...where's this going Harry?"
"Josh...I-I can't anymore. I can't keep doing it."
Yet again my emotions made a rapid change and concern came creeping back into my brain. "Can't keep doing what Harry?"
"Can't you guess?....The drinking. God it's like everyday is a party with freezy, h-he just never stops. Me and Cal can't take it anymore!"
I started back at the boy in shock. He was beginning to yell, face flushed and eyebrows knitted together.
"Josh I came to you cause...I-I don't know what to do anymore, I feel sick! Sick in the head every time I bring a beer bottle to my lips. We have to drink it's like a fucking law in that flat. Practically every night Cal comes home with a new bottle of liquor or wine and..it never ends. The amount of nights I couldn't film or even begin to function cause I've been completely wasted. Every night I hoist my body off our living room floor and stumble to my bedroom. The worlds going all wonky, my head is spinning and I know I didn't want it, I know deep down that I should have refused that glass of wine, should have given a rain check to the offer of shots but....I have to do it. I'm accustomed to it at this point. A-and I don't have the energy or self worth to go grab some water or crackers...so I just throw myself on my bed passing out in my drunken state....what's the point of sobering up when you're just so far off the deep end?"
"I-I mean you saw me in the vlog...I was a mess! Cal nearly cracked his head open and the internet didn't see the half of it...I did so many stupid things that night Josh, I've been doing so many s-stupid things.......J-Josh I don't know who I am anymore."
Harry's voice broke as he spoke and I could feel my heart breaking too as I listened to his words. Hearing the defeat and loss in such a usually happy vibrant human was vile to my ears. Knowing the one I care about so much was feeling this way.
"Harry...I'm so sorry."
Large tears were sliding down the ridges of Harry's reddened cheeks. I slowly lifted my hand and wiped away the water droplets from his smooth skin. As I did I stood up from my chair and moved to sit on my bed next to the somber male. He turned his body towards me and his eyes pleaded for comfort which I gladly gave. I wrapped around my arm around the boy and pulled him into my chest, rubbing small circles against his back.
When his head met the crook of my neck audible sobs could be heard escaping the lips of the youngest sideman tearing holes through my heart. He's just a baby bog...he's still so fragile and innocent. He doesn't deserve this.
I pulled Harry tighter against my chest and began rocking him back and forth in my arms. Sorrowful cries still sounded from the boy as his body shook in my embrace. I tucked my head down next to his ear and began to whisper words of comfort to Harry hoping they would help the him through his breakdown.
"Shhhhhh. It's ok you're gonna be ok. I'm here Harry alright I'm here and I care about you. I love you very much....Hey sh sh shhh. I'm gonna help everything thing is gonna turn out fine ok. Really, you're not sick you just need some help."
"You already did the hardest part all by yourself . You are so so strong and you don't even notice bog. You came to me today, you wanted help Harry that means so much."
Harry's cries were beginning to slow and his body was no longer tense in my arms.
"You don't have to drink anymore ok. Screw Cal, you don't have to drink anything he brings home unless you actually want it or actually want to go out. And I know who you are, you're Harry Lewis. A boisterous 20 year old guy from Guernsey that plays football and has the most adorable laugh I've ever heard, so for heavens sake please stop being upset and laugh a bit because everything is going to be fine and miss seeing you happy" I felt Harry smile along my collar bone. "Oh yeah and i I forgot to mention you fakes all your packs."
"Oi!"
Harry's head shot up from the crook of my neck and I just laughed causing him to chuckle in return.
"There's the laugh I wanted."
--
Yes hello I am in fact alive, it's been a while but I'm finally done with all of my dance camps which is what had been keeping me from writing so hopefully I will stop procrastinating and get some oneshots published. :) I hope you've all enjoyed this one at least. Until next time
