Sky Pirates

like winning the lottery

two hundred and thirty nine days. and really, he shouldn't be the one doing this because he wasn't the asshole that went ghost after that argument... technically. he wasn't the one that went ghost first. though, he was the one who said goodbye. for the time being. 

jimin slouches, taps on his lip as he stares at the blinking cursor. there's still that last message from jeongguk before he sent his massive word vomit that he deleted. 

he still remembers what he said: too many sorry's. i'm afraid of you hating me. please, gukkie ask something from me. it makes him cringe.

no. he isn't letting doubts get to his mind temple. not after months of enduring the silence and gathering up all his courage.  he's decided today's the day it ends.

"aish, seriously" jimin huffs in exasperation. jeongguk's so inconsiderate sometimes. 

it's three minutes before it's the boy's birthday, officially, but jimin has been waiting for way longer than that to press the dreadful send button. he doesn't even know if jeongguk's still awake at this time, can't see the minutes under his name so jimin's stuck praying on the little phone icon. but knowing him, he probably still is, playing games or watching youtube or something. 

there's a whirlwind of unwanted thoughts threatening to wreck the flimsy cathedral of peace jimin has managed to stack together in his mind. he thinks of the what ifs. what if he doesn't care anymore? what if he just thinks i'm a nuisance? what if he hates me? please, gukkie. what if... he's found someone else? 

jimin bites the inside of his cheek. the clock on the side of his screen hits twelve o' three. he hits send and suddenly he feels a chill down his spine that has nothing to do with the ac.

honestly, he doesn't even mind if jeongguk never opens his message. he probably needs more time. it's just a happy birthday anyway.  happy birthday, gukkie. i hope you're well. and tomorrow there'll be more people greeting him via social media and jimin's message will probably be buried under everything come morning. 

honestly, he just wants jeongguk to know he still cares and that he isn't bitter about anything.

honestly.

so jimin doesn't completely understand why the bridge of his nose starts stinging and a couple of tears slip down toward his chin. he wipes them away before closing his laptop and jumping to bed. 

maybe he's just tired.

he doesn't admit it to himself and refuses to check online for anything, but he is waiting. always waiting.

two weeks later there's a notice of a friend request.

jimin swallows. for the first time in such a long time he is properly afraid. but he accepts it.

it's another month before there's a ping. and his skin feels like it's on fire. because he set everything else on mute. and it's unfair but that's just how he is. the ping can only mean one thing.

kookiechu:  hyung?

he doesn't know how to respond. 

jeongguk is typing again.

kookiechu:  jimin hyung

jimin types a shaky hello gukkie, contemplates whether to put a smiley. he's glad the nickname, albeit ancient, still holds.

kookiechu:  hi hyung:)

Park Jimin:  hi gukkie :)

kookiechu is typing...