Stand || Warren Worthington III (on hold)

Thirteen

Warren's Pov...

I don't remember much from the night before but I knew I fucked up royally. I hurt her again. Why am I like this? Why do I keep doing things like this? Let's face it, I don't deserve her. I need to turn myself in before I do anything else to hurt her. I want her to be happy, she'll be better off without me. Kurt will make her happy. He's a good guy. I probably shouldn't have taken him for granted all those years before.

I remember when I first saw her. She was so... hold on. I can't keep doing things like this to her. I want to tell her or write to her that I'm sorry but what will that do? She'll probably toss it aside after what I just did. It's not like me. I'll still write it. I've also been having panic attacks lately. Even when she was here. When she was asleep that one night, I ran over something. I didn't know what it was until I checked it out. Out of nowhere I just started crying. I was crying and I couldn't stop. I lost track of my rate of breathing, well it felt like I couldn't breathe. I also was shaking a lot. Manly, right? I've stopped caring about that a long time ago though.

Things are different now, I might just kill my self right now. It's not selfish... I hurt someone I love and I think they deserve better. Let's just see how this goes. I'm counting hours into days until she comes back. She won't and I know that but I hope she does so I can see her one last time. Or maybe she doesn't even want to see me. That's ok.

I deserve it.