messy salt stained rosy cheeks wet from tears and chapped lips that are dry and knotted hair that is falling out i am dying dying dying and when i am asked what's wrong i don't know i don't know i don't know.
i swear the moon could swallow me up whole with phantom shadows and carved craters and i'd be ok ill be a part of the moon and then i'll be beautiful, trust me.
and when i collide with the earth i'll be scattered into stardust bits and it will sure as hell be better than living in this damn life (am i overreacting?)
i will tie my fingers up in knots until i can't knot anymore and i will not pick up the scattered glass shards that hold my reflection i have left them in the past and i am no longer myself.
i will bite the inside of my cheek until there is a hole, a hole as big as the one in my kidney and i'll be happy i swear.
ill tear out my hair and tie it around my neck (i grew it out as long as i could!) and it'll wrap around my burning bones and ill smile with pink bubblegum pepto stained teeth.
give you a shaded smile like a falling eclipse and leave you in the dark, but don't worry it's pretty i am red and black and white and grey and all the shades of a melancholic rainbow.
i will take out all the oxygen from my brain until it freezes to black ice and my hands shake from the numbness i've continued to endure but somehow it's a whole lot better than actually feeling the fires that rest in the the bottom of my ribcage.
(im cold and hot and melancholy and happy and i just don't know anymore. what's the point?)
