Peppermint

Chapter 7 - The Powers That Be

***GABE***

"I like swimming as much as the next guy, but...mer-boys, Alex? Really?"

"What?" Alex spins around in the water around us, almost whipping me in the face with the business end of his gleaming indigo tailfin. "You say that like it's a bad thing, being mermen."

I glance down at my own tailfin, which is seafoam green with gold scales scattered throughout. I gotta say, it's pretty, uh, pretty, especially with the way the scales smoothly transition into my peach-colored skin around my waistline, but still... "I don't feel like much of a man in this getup, for some reason."

"Why, 'cause you don't know where your dick goes?" I just know he's about to drop that Zoraida Córdova quote, the one he remembers the best, as much as he likes to pretend he's above those kinds of jokes. "'Not to worry...there's a pocket.'"

Hearing my thoughts, he laughs. "Gabe, there's more to the Vicious Deep books than that one line." See what I mean?

I tighten my grip on the serrated harpoon I've apparently been carrying since this dream started. "Can we just go do our mer-dude warrior thing already? I know you're dying to."

He reaches down and, out of nowhere, his own harpoon appears in his hand. Hashtag #BecauseMagic. "Who says we're not mer-dude hunters? Wouldn't warriors use tridents? Like how Aquaman does."

"But we're not Aquaman. Aquaman doesn't have wings." I cast my eyes over to Alex's back, where his wings are plastered to his back, shining darkly against his skin. Okay, how come he doesn't have a green tailfin? At least that would make a little more sense than a green tailfin on me. He does kind of have that greenish undertone to his skin. It really is olive-colored.

"Aquaman doesn't normally have a tailfin instead of legs, either, does he?" Alex wiggles his again, and I think he's enjoying his a lot more than I am mine.

"Maybe when we surface," I say, "our legs will come back."

"Ready to put that to the test?" Alex looks up at the near-infinite blue above us.

"Well..." I look a little lower down myself. "First, don't we have to take care of our incoming horde of enemies?"

Alex follows my gaze and sees the swarming shadowy ugly mofos way off below us. They swirl around in the dark depths of the water like they're made of ink - which they probably are, if they're not some kind of monster straight out of J.K. Rowling's nightmares. Maybe an Obscurus, or a Selkie, or (horror of horrors) a grindylow.

Dear Ms. Rowling,

Your grindylows gave me nightmares for years and made me almost too scared to try calamari.

Sincerely,

Gabe Snow

That's some good fan mail, right? I'll have to remember that and write it down when I wake up. Can I send snail mail between 'verses? What about owl post? I'll have to ask Annie or Harlan about that.

But for now, I've got undersea beasties to take care of with my best bro. Cthulhu's spawn to wrangle. Fish fry to wrap up this Friday night, and it's not even Lent. Yeah, like it really matters what time of the liturgical calendar it is when I'm a little bit removed from the real world.

I get my harpoon ready. In the real world, I'd probably have a ton of trouble lifting this. Even with the muscle tone I've built up in the last couple of years, I'm not used to wielding weapons of this weight for extended periods of time. Although building up my ice powers has helped, because while water elementals aren't particularly well-known for their shredded bods, ice is tougher to work with and takes a little more physical strength.