FALL AWAY ⇢ JONATHAN BRANDIS

six ↠ jonathan

I've never been a huge fan of eggs. I mean, I could always just take them or leave them. That is, until one day in Skyler Brown's garage, when my feelings about eggs were solidified.

"Hey, hey, hey. Guys. Edna's found her breakfast." Christopher pointed at the pet snake previously referred to as 'Edna' in the corner of the room.

I mean, if a slimy reptile found them appetising, there was certainly no place for them in my diet.

"Oh, man, that's so cool! She doesn't even have to chew! I mean, think of all the time you'd save." Adam exclaimed, watching the snake devour the egg whole.

I could've gone my whole life not knowing that snakes eat eggs raw... if it hadn't been for Rose. She had a major-league thing for Skyler Brown. I think it's gross.

He and Sarah's brothers, Adam and Christopher, had formed a band. And Rose would watch them practice.

"That is so neat. How about that, huh, Jonathan." Adam nudged my arm.

"Yeah. Neat. So, Jon, how do you think he's gonna digest that?" Christopher questioned

I thought about it for a moment. "Stomach acid?" I replied, unsurely.

"You'd like to think that. Wait, everybody quiet. Here he goes." Adam hushed.

"Eggs over easy." Adam watched in awe as the shell cracked.

"Gross. Gross, gross, gross!" Rose winced.

"Wait, wait. You haven't seen the best part!" Christopher grabbed Rose's arm to stop her from turning away.

I didn't even want to explain what happened to that poor egg afterwards.

"Ugh! Gross." Rose cried, shaking herself free of Christopher's grip.

I tried to be casual about it, but it didn't take. I started having bad dreams. I'd be trapped inside a huge egg and this monster would open his jaws and start to devour me. Luckily, I'd wake up just in time.

A knocking on the front door of my house was when the real nightmare began. I opened the door to see Sarah smiling up at me, holding a box of eggs.

"Hi, Jonathan! I brought these over for you and your family. My chickens are laying eggs."
"What?" I asked, laughing a little.
"You remember Abby and Bonnie and Clyde and Dexter and Eunice and Florence - the ones I hatched for the science fair?"
"How could I forget?" I forced a smile.

It was classic Sarah Conway. She totally dominated the fair. And get this, her project was all about watching boring eggs hatch! I mean, here I had a live-action erupting volcano... and all anyone cared about was Sarah's boring chicks breaking out of their boring shells!

I thought back to the time where everyone was watching the eggs hatch in awe.

But hey, she won. I lost. I've never been one to dwell. But that didn't mean I had to eat her lousy eggs.

"I think it was very sweet of Sarah to bring us those eggs." My mother smiled.
"I don't care. I'm still having cereal tomorrow." I grumbled.

"How do you tell if one's a rooster?" I asked Oliver as we crouched down beside Sarah's fence, looking through the tiny hole to see her feeding her chickens.