Chapter 1

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*sorry it's taken me so long to get this started, I've been dealing with some things. I hope you enjoy it! I'll try and update on a regular schedule but I think we all know how bad I am at that.

Olivia's pov

I look out the window of our big house. Olivia sage and Frannie run up to me.
"Did you help mama with the chores?" I ask.
"Yeah mom, can I call Jessica now?" She asks. "Yeah, but make it quick. Dinner is in 15." I say.
She groans an "okay" and runs off to her room.
Amanda walks up towards me.
"Did you think we would ever be so lucky?" She asks, with a laugh.
I shake my head, and meet her halfway for a kiss.

I look down and all I see is red.

Red.

Red.

"Olivia!" I hear, quietly. Amanda runs up next to me, and catches me before I fall.
"It's okay manda, its just blood." I say with a smile. "It's just blood..." I say, quietly, fading away.

Amanda's pov

"What did you do?!" I scream. "It's me you want, why the fuck did you have to shoot her? SHE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS!" I scream. I hear sirens. The neighbors must have called. He drops the gun and stumbles away.
"Hey, its okay baby, cmon. You gotta wake up. Wake up, Olivia! WAKE UP!" I scream, shaking her. I start CPR. "Cmon, 1, 2, 3, 4. COME ON LIV. NOT LIKE THIS!" I scream.
The EMT's make their way through.
"Excuse me ma'am, you have to move!" They yell.
I get up, but stay close to her.
"We have a pulse! It's thready but it's there. 1, 2, 3, UP!" The man yells.
I follow them out of the building, but the cops stop me from going with her.
"We need you to answer some questions," they start. "No, I need to be with my girlfriend, excuse me." I say.
"No, ma'am there isn't any room. Your best bet is to give them room to work. We need you to give us some information. What happened here tonight?" He asks.
"A man, he came up to my apartment and shot her." I say, quickly.
"Why?" He asks.
"What do you mean why?" I ask.
"Why did he shoot her?" He asks again.
"I don't know, to get back at me? He was my old police chief. Deputy Chief Patton." I say quickly, wanting to get out of there.
"Did he not say why?" The cop asks.
"No. He didn't. He just said 'I'm your worst nightmare' and that's it." I say.
"Do you know why he might want to shoot her or you?" He asks.
"I don't know, maybe he was jealous of her." I say.
"Okay, you're free to go to the hospital. Call me if you think of anything else." He says.
I get in my car and make my way towards the hospital.

                                Hospital

I walk up to the hospital doors, and run inside.
"Hello, I'm Amanda Rollins, I'm here to see my friend, Olivia benson. She was shot, she would have just been brought in." I say.
"I'm sorry, we aren't allowed to disclose a patients personal information." The nurse says.
"Please. I'm a cop, she's a cop. She's my girlfriend, please."  I say, tears running down my cheeks. I don't know if it was the fact that Im a cop, or that I look like Im about to have a nervous breakdown, but she lets me in the gallery to watch her surgery.

After about 5 hours of surgery, they begin to close her and take her to ICU.

I meet one of her doctors outside of her room.
"So what's gonna happen?" I ask, trying to contain my tears.
"She's gonna be pretty sore for a while, but she should be fine. I'm Dr. Grey if there's anything you need, just ask for me." She says, with a smile.

I sit with her in ICU all night. The doctor comes in around 3am. "How's she doing?" She asks whispering. "Okay I guess. Still hasn't woken up." I say, wiping a tear away.
"I wouldn't be worried about that. Not yet anyway." She says. "Her body has been put through a lot of trauma. It's not abnormal for a patient to not wake up for a couple days after surgery." She says. I nod.
"Thank you, Dr. Grey. Are you on call tonight?" I ask.
"No, I'm just staying to keep an eye on Olivia. I know what it's like to have your loved one on the table, so I just thought at least having her doctor here and ready, in case something happens would bring you comfort." She says, with a smile.
"Thank you." I say, quietly.
She nods. "Try and get some rest, detective." She says, with a smile.

When I wake up, I hear a beeping. Fast and loud. I look up, it's Olivia's heart monitor.
"HELP! PLEASE, HER HEART!" I scream out at the nurses. They rush in, and push me out of the way. "GET THE PADDLES, WE DONT HAVE A RYTHM." one of them yells. "3, 2, 1, CLEAR!" They yell, and shock her.
"STILL NO RYTHM, SHOCK HER AGAIN. CLEAR!" They shock her again.
I can't breathe. She's gone. And this is all my fault.  

*hey guys! Hope you liked this, I'm gonna write down ideas for the next chapter so I remember them, but I can't update again right now. Hopefully later tonight if I feel motivated. Vote and comment!

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