Delusions

Survivor's Guilt

Copyright © Claim

I really don't remember a lot about my childhood.... Maybe if i think really... really... hard I'll piece together how my life became fucked up.... Anastasia says while fiddling with her thumbs.
"Well let's start with the parts that you do remember you think you could do that for me?
There's a long pause before Anastasia can respond to Jane....
I guess I could do that.
" Okay great so today I want to try  a lesson with you since you said your having trouble with remembering traumatic events... I told you to bring a photo of your younger self in with you today, So do have the photo?
Yes! Anastasia says while handing Jane the photo.
I Can't remember what age I was in this picture...
" That's fine remembering traumatic events can take some time to come back......Sometimes they may never come back depending on how bad the situation effected the person."
Jane puts the photo of Anastasia on to a  projector, She turns the light off and a picture of younger Anastasia Santiago flashes on the screen.
" After you take a look Close your eyes... Try to steady your breathing.... Focus....What did you see...what do you remember?  When you look at that picture, Anything that stands out?

Anastasia closes her eyes and steadies her breathing.... Her heart rate begins to get lower She starts to image a Flash back of  Prom Day March 25, 2008

FLASHBACK- March, 25th,2008
Anna picks up four dresses and slams them down on the dressing room table. " I can't pick anything to wear...Too many choices... What do you think about these? Anna holds up two dresses to her sides, One is a red silky dress the other is a blue metallic fitted dress.

Neither... I think both of them are fucking ugly... Anastasia says while making a disgusted look on her face. The dress you should have picked up should've been this one... She picks up a silk baby pink dress with little specs of glitter on it, This is the one! This is you all the way sis!
Anna pauses  and stares at the dress with a blank expression on her face.... "Well I think that I fucking love it! I'm buying it."

They both laugh as both of them finish shopping for their prom dresses to head home.

Anna throws her shopping bags on the bedroom floor. "So do you think cousin Norma is coming tonight?
She starts to take off her shoes and sits down on the bed.

I hope so she's the only one that can supply us with the Mary J... Anastasia pulls out a joint from inside her dresser.

" Now you know if Dad smells that shit he's going to have aneurysm."

Trust me I know that's why I do this.... How to hide that you smoke 101....Anastasia rolls up two towels and stuffs them under her bedroom door. She picks up a pack incense from off her dresser and lights them . Now we just crack a window and we should be good now, They should be getting ready for our send of party.... So we should be in the clear. She lights the joint and takes two puffs then tries to pass it to Anna.

You scared?
" please.... I'll take that." Anna grabs the blunt out of Anastasia hand and takes a puff. "
I can't smoke too much of that, Plus liquor Is not a good mix.... She says while smiling she holds up her Gatorade bottle filled with vodka and juice and takes a sip.... She winces from the taste.

"But who cares I'm trying to have a night to remember."

She takes two puffs of the joint and begins to cough.

There is a knock at the door. Anna quickly hides the weed in her drawer and removes the towels from underneath the door, Anastasia puts the joint out and hides the it underneath her pillow she starts to spray the bedroom with perfume .

Lina enters the bedroom and begins to sniff the air.

"Girls..... that smells like some good shit."

Anna and Anastasia both look at each other confused and slightly shocked.

"Well let me hit the joint or The bong or whatever you guys have a couple of times.... You're father and your cousin Norma are driving me crazy... Lina starts to mumble under her breath herion addicts, prostiuties... Did you know your cousin Norma was a stripper?

Anastasia looks at Anna and starts laughing.... She pulls the joint from underneath her pillow and lights it and passes it to her Lina.

"Mom I didn't know that you smoked?
Anna has a surprised look on her face with her mouth hanging open.

"Just a little bit honey, Don't tell you father, he'll have a heart attack and I'll never hear the end of it..."

She takes two puffs of the joint . "You both are gonna look so beautiful on your prom tonight, Don't get pregnant on your prom night like I did..."

Mom! Please stop! Anastasia says while covering her ears.

" That's the last thing on mind..."

Anna takes a sip from her Gatorade bottle in disgust .

"What?!? It's the truth, If it wasn't for that night though I wouldn't have had my beautiful babies I love you girls."

Lina kisses Anna and Anastasia on both of their foreheads .

" Get ready girls No time to waste! Everyone  is downstairs waiting."

She gets up and passes Anastasia the joint she blows them both a kiss as she heads downstairs.

Anna and Anastasia begins to get ready for prom night.