This was home to me.
My comfort zone.
And whether I want to step out of the little boundary that I've created, I decided to leave that for later.
For now, I want to be lost in those eyes that peers at me from above; a flawless melted chocolate in the hue of a recently fallen autumn leaf. He kept his gaze on me, confirming that I wasn't an ephemeral being that would easily slip past his hands like the almost opaque bandages that he was gingerly removing from different parts of my body.
"For someone as reckless as you," he whispers, calloused fingers tangled around the soft white fabrics. "Your skin is remarkably beautiful."
An indescribable feeling began to pool in my gut and I visibly swallowed. The tips of his fingers runs atop my bare skin in a gentle caress.
Warmth .
I didn't even bother to cease the genuine smile that spread across my lips, especially when he returned it with another beautiful one of his own.
He grabbed my right hand and planted a chaste kiss on the surface of each different fingers. His stubble lightly grazed against it, sending me unwelcoming shivers.
"It's a shame. Why would you keep them behind these cheap layers of bandages?" he frowned.
"I don't think that matters anymore," I smiled halfheartedly.
"I guess not," he chuckled.
Let me undo you along with these bandages.
His hands move to cup my face before he began pressing feverish kisses on my cheeks and along my jawline.
"I'll be honest with you Dazai," the way my name rolled out from his tongue was nothing but sensual. "I've imagined doing this to you. Touching you, kissing you, holding you. Even though I aspired to be a writer, I could never search for the words that could best describe you. Your actions, you personality, your beauty. I could never put them into words."
Hearing those sweet nothings escaping his chapped lips made the rhythm of my heart erratic.
"I'd wish you never put them into words," I smiled.
"Why is that?" he unwrapped yet another layer of bandages.
"Because it makes me feel special that someone like you, who could create and personalise characters from the tips of your fingers, struggles to even pinpoint at least one adjective to describe me," I grinned.
"Dictionaries be damned when it comes to you," Odasaku chuckled.
I felt my only barrier of protection leave my arms and a sudden pang of exposure hits me. But when he run his fingers across the surface of my broken skin like he understood every scar, I can't help but smile, knowing Odasaku is the only protection I need.
There is no need for my insecurities to be covered when Odasaku has helped me overcome them all this time. These bandages were a wall that hid my real self away from others and Odasaku was the one who broke through them easily, and still loved and accepted what he saw afterwards.
That's why tonight, I wanted to give him my all.
In the form of love, trust and for the sake of genuinely relishing this moment. Not as the mock-up Port Mafia Dazai, but as the real Dazai without that unfaltering halcyon Façade. The person Odasaku fell in love with. No matter what had become of me, acceptance was always Odasaku's strongest virtue, especially towards me.
YOU ARE READING
No Longer Flawless (Odazai)
同人小說"I was drawn by an irreversible desire for death which blinded me to the point where death itself was the only reason that I believed has kept me breathing this far. But when you unraveled my only false sense of security, I was able to release the a...
