(Justins p.o.v.)
I don't think I've ever seen Jen this sad. The only think she does is cry and if she's not crying she's sleeping. Tonight she woke me and said she couldn't sleep so we just cuddled. It hurts to see her like this. I don't even know why she's so sad. It's been so long since her and Brad. When we were first dating she said she was over him but apparently not.
I look at her, she's sitting on the couch with the dogs watching tv. I walk up to her and sit down next to her. ''What are you watching?" I ask her while I wrap my arms around her.
"FRIENDS, it's the episode where Rachel has the baby.
I hear a different kind of sadness when she says that. I look at the tv and see a younger version of Jen sitting in a wheelchair. David Schwimmer walking behind it. Suddenly I hear Jen sobbing.
"what's wrong honey?" I say in my sweetest voice.
"it's just that watching this makes me really sad.."
"why?"
''because when we were shooting this, I wanted to have a baby so bad. I remember crying at home when I came home that day, it was just too much".
''I didn't know that, I'm sorry to hear that''
''Justin, have you ever thought of having a baby and please be honest!?"
"well, uhum I actually have but I was too shy to ask you about it''
I look away, too shy to admit that I've actually been thinking about a baby.
"Justin are you serious?''
I nod, ofcourse I'm serious.
''have you?'' I ask her curious.
She looks at me with her beautiful eyes even now when there are tears in her eyes she looks flawless.
''Ofcourse I have, but I stopped trying with Brad because we had two miscarriages. And now, I really don't think we should have a baby Justin''
''Wow, I didn't see that one coming Jen''
''what? what do you mean Justin?'' she says looking at me.
''I mean that I always read in the magazines that you wanted to be a mom and I just expected that..
''justin are you serious?'' Jen interrupts me ''are you dating me because you want children?''
''Jen don't be stupid, you just asked if I had ever thought of it and I answered, ofcourse I'm not dating, actually we're engaged, because I want a baby. I'm with you because I love you''
Jen let's go of my hand she was holding and looks at me.
''I'm sorry, I love you too but I just think we shouldn't have a child'' she says.
I look at her, why is she saying this? I thought she wanted children..
''why not?''
''Because we're getting older, I don't think a child would like it if their parents were that old''
I guess she has a point but I can´t deny I´m a little disappointed so I just nod and hug her.
''but Jen are you saying we should never ever have a baby?''
''well, a lot of people think Brad and I got a divorce because I was unable to have children but it wasn't going well with us at all'' she sighs and I stroke her hair with my fingers
''we were really busy and barely saw eachother, and why would he leave me because of the miscarriages? he adopted children with Angelina, why not me?''
''so, what are you saying Jen?'' I say quietly.
''I'm saying that instead of not trying we could just stop trying not to have one if you get what I mean?''
ofcourse I get what's she means, she wants to stop using a condom.
''hmmhhm okay'' I say in a moan when she leans forward to me.
she crawls to me and sits on my lap. I slowly lean toward her and kiss her gentle.
