Lui et Moi (Ryden)

4. Le bonheur est un pistolet chaud (Happiness is a Warm Gun)

After the kiss that was shared between the two, they shared a bed as well. Brendon slept in Ryan's arms during the night, and they made excuses for why it was necessary for them to let this happen. Brendon didn't want to find a taxi on his own at this hour, and Ryan didn't want him to go home with a loose tongue. They both knew in the back of their minds though, that they didn't want to leave each other's sides.

The next morning however, they were forced to face reality. The goodbye was awkward, and it felt forced. Ryan brushed Brendon's hair away from his forehead before kissing it, and the man stepped away from him. "So um..." Brendon mumbles. "Are you coming to the wedding?" He looks up at Ryan with those big brown eyes.

"Do you really think that's a good idea?" Ryan asks, shaking his head. "Now that you're here, and you know, you're here... I just don't know how I would handle that."

"Please, Ryan. You're my best friend. I want you to be there." Brendon pleads, and of course he can't say no to Brendon. Ryan is such a push over.

"Fine, yeah. I'll be there." Ryan caves like it's nothing. He always does.

"Thank you!" Brendon grins, before kissing Ryan happily on the mouth. "Love you, see you later?" Brendon yells as he walks down the driveway to the Uber and Ryan nods. Of course, yeah, see you later. Ryan could laugh at the irony of the situation. Brendon just kissed a man goodbye, followed by a sure 'I love you'. He's getting married today, and his new lover will be there in the pews watching.

God, what did Ryan get himself into?

Ryan returns into the safety of his home, and finds himself in the bedroom, staring at the disheveled bed. It wasn't disheveled from sex, for once. No, it was a mess because the two lovers that shared the bed in the night shifted, and moved in their sleep. They couldn't get close enough, sneaking kisses in their groggy state of mind. Ryan felt a heavy dread settle in his chest. Sure, maybe he could sit through the wedding, but what happens when Brendon and Sarah go on their honeymoon? He won't see Brendon for all that time. Ryan feels like this is almost his and Brendon's honeymoon as well. This is all new for them, and he wants to explore.

But he can't, because Brendon is not his.

So what's the point? The two of them will get married, and Brendon will be officially off the market. There will be no chance for Ryan, and he'll be a secret. Who knows, maybe Brendon will just tell Ryan to fuck off, and that'll be that.

Well, there'll be no Ryan after that.

He becomes an empty shell after that, preparing himself for the day's events. He dresses very well, inadvertently trying to show Brendon who he should want more. Naturally he'd want to impress him. So he did everything he could, wearing a nice fitted suit. Simple, and classic.

Ryan knew he was an attractive man, he really did, but you have to be otherworldly beautiful to seduce a straight man. Everyone has that one exception.

Ryan had never been specific though. While he preferred women, he always told himself that if there was a man who completely captivated him, there'd be no fight. He'd let himself fall in love, or lust, and he did. He fell damn hard too.

After Ryan sat on his couch for an hour, doing nothing but stare at the wall, he packed up, and got in the car. He wasn't ready for this by any means, but it was inevitable. He couldn't stop it, so he might as well accept it. 'Just go to the wedding', Ryan tells himself. 'Brendon will be happy with me if I do'.