kneesocks; fillie

• one • knee-socks •

TRIGGER WARNING: abuse

millie

i smile to myself as i place the record onto the player and let the sounds of the music fill my ears as i closed my eyes. i inhale the smell of my old room in the attic, looking at my posters and paintings. my floor really was a mess, and yes i probably should clean it. but me? cleaning it? ahah you must think i'm insane.
i take the small white stick out of the package of cigarettes, and light one watching the smoke rise into the air. i turned up my music louder as i heard my mom and her drunk boyfriend fight. rolling my eyes i fall backwards onto my small twin-sized mattress trying my best to drown out the sounds of voices echoing through the walls.
my thoughts were soon interrupted by the ping of my computer.
"hey babe" the message read. i rolled my eyes and closed the lid of my mac. i waited a few minutes until i let my curiosity get the best of me. so i texted the unknown person back.
"wrong number hun" i replied. laughing i closed my lid once again.
i soon realized the fighting has stopped, but i heard crying replacing the screams. i sighed. this was a normal thing and i had now given up on trying to solve it. all of my complaints and talking back to him always resulted in me getting hit. but i would never tell my mom that, or anyone for that matter. she didn't need to worry, no one needed to know. i was going to be fine. i was stronger then i looked.
once again the king of my computer clouded over my thoughts.

"oh sorry" the message read.

"it's alright dear, care to tell me your name?" i sounded like an old woman. almost instantly the person replied.

"how do i know you aren't some stalker?" this kid had some good reasons to not want to tell me who there were.

i sent a picture of my knee socks along with my thighs just at the top.

"do they look wrinkly to you?" i sent. i hoped for a reply. i wanted to know who this kid was.

"this could be some picture you found on the internet"

"well you were the one to find ME on the internet"

"still"

"you have no good excuse boi" this was just getting entertaining now.

"i won't tell you my name, but i will tell you i'm an eighteen year old boy" i smiled. a little information was enough to satisfy me

"good to know, i'm a sixteen year old girl.. so i'm not older than you ha" this kid was fun to talk to for sure.

"ha ha so funny, i have to go now, talk to you never" i rolled my eyes at this, i couldn't tell if he was serious or if he was kidding but i replied anyway.

"what an asshole way to say it, you could have said "talk to you later" which usually means "i'm just telling you this so you still have hope that i will text you again but i'm not going to"

"fine, i'll talk to you later"

"better, but if you do happen to come back, i'm here for your manner lessons"

"okay i am going to expect them now"

"so you will come back?" maybe i was a little too hopeful.

"i never said i would"

"but you implied it" i kept poking him, this was fun to do.
before i could manage the heat the noise of his replay my mom's drunk boyfriend busted through the door.

"YOUR NOT ALLOWED IN HERE GET OUT NOW" i yelled at the top of my lungs. mom please come help me. i hoped and hoped she would come save me.

"I DONT CARE WHERE I AM ALLOWED YOU ARENT THE BOSS OF ME! YOU SHOULDNT BE ON YOUR COMPUTER THIS LATE LET ME SEE IT"

"NO" i yelled back. before i could dodge the hit, his hand had met the side of my face. leaving a huge red mark on the side. and another one was place. i started sobbing.

"MOMMY" i yelled through tears. no response. he must have knocked her out.

i pushed past his hands and ran down the stairs and into the living room and i wish i hadn't. glass was laying everywhere and my mom was bleeding. she had cuts on her face and her stomach was bleeding.

that son of a bitch had stabbed her.
i grabbed the phone and quickly dialed 911.

"911 what's your emergency" my voice was ragged and was interrupted by hiccups every five seconds but i managed to muster
"my moms drunk boyfriend *hiccup* has stabbed my mom in the stomach and she is unconscious *hiccup* please help, he is coming back to hit me omg *sobs*"

tears stung my eyes as he slapped the phone away from my hand. and raised his hand to slap me once more. i darted to where my mom was laying stepped on glass along the way, i screamed in pain.

and i wouldn't know it right now but my computer was getting blown up with messages.

ahah really funny

why no response

hello

are you okay?

maybe you took a nap

i swear if you aren't okay

i don't know what to do

what if you are in trouble? i can't do anything. i don't know who you are.

please be okay

please come back

and yes i wouldn't know it. i wouldn't know there were messages until hours later. as i fell onto the ground, my knee-socks covered in blood.

a/n: this was really deep omg. but if any of you guys are suffering with abuse please tell someone it's not a good thing and you need to tell someone. i hope you liked it.