The Ballad of Winter (#0.2 Ruthen Quartet)

Chapter Twelve

As the days passed and the seasons changed, I saw lesser and lesser of Aitan. My belly was round and many could not believe that I was only five months long. Aitan was not there to support me as he had promised.

Ar'kela had warned me to act casually around him. She did not want him to suspect me while she spied on him. However, the same could not be said to Eiran. He was more detached and cold towards Aitan. If Aitan noticed, he never commented on it.

The cool summer evening air caressed me like her child as I braided my hair. Each time I braided, they fell out, the ribbons and the clips I used to secure my hair snapped or just simply fell down. I gave up. Touching my head against the ridge of the dressing table, I cried.

At least I had the freedom to that. Did my mother go through this when she was with me and Eiran? I could not say. But Katya was with me, just the way she was there for my mother. Her face had not aged, but time gave her experiences. She did her best to aid me from Acracia.

Added to this, my body ached. But thankfully I did not have any of that morning sickness at the healers termed it. Even for my pains, the Rafels and the Rafelas had something up their sleeve that eased my pain.

Eiran had given up hope, but Ar'kela was my only pillar. She was there whenever Rafel Chayim came and checked me. Though she acted all tough and strong, I saw the little girl scared for her friend at times. Those times, Eiran held her while she cried. No one had seen her lose. Not even me. I only felt what my twin was feeling.

A soft hand brushed my hair. "Things will be better, Azaziah."

"How will it ever be?" I whimpered, lifting my head. "I know you are suggesting to kill Aitan to break the deal, but I cannot go on a day without him. I was a fool to choose him. I just cannot even hear the words that suggest you might harm him."

Ar'kela weaved her fingers through my hair. "Things love does. I wonder why Iphis is testing you. But Azaziah, once Aitan seals that deal with Ray'elm'niel, he is a lost cause. We cannot save him. He might be thinking that by aiding them, he is protecting his family. But he forgot to realise that the darkness will suck him alive, leaving you vulnerable."

The doors of my personal chamber opened and closed.

"I may not want to kill my friend, Azaziah," Eiran said, walking in. "But if he is going to harm you, then I do not know who he is. Your mother sacrificed her life so that the Darkness does not invade, by prolonging, you are inviting the thing your mother fought. Is this how you honour her?"

She laughed mirthlessly. "When they said, the Emperor's son will be the one to bring the Darkness, I bet they meant Aitan. He is late The Emperor's son by marriage."

I sniffled. Why did they not understand me? They too loved each other. What would they do, if they had to murder one another? Would they do it in a heartbeat? If they would, then I would too.

I wiped my tears. As an Empress, I must not show anything. I took the cream and started applying on my cheeks. Aitan had asked me to accompany him in the twilight.

"Braid my hair," I commanded.

Ar'kela looked into my eyes through the mirror. She saw me as if I was crazy. In fact, I was.

"Do it fast, Ar'kela," I said, trying to put some force into my voice. "I need to go somewhere tonight."

Shaking her head, she started on her work.

"You're impossible, Empress," Eiran hissed and left.

My heart ached that I could not care for him as much as he did. But what could I do? I just cannot lose these important people in my life.