Journal from jail

What a Mistake I've Made

There I was at the crime scene. What have I done? I looked around realizing just exactly what I had done. There was blood on the fence, I must have hit his head against it. The "His" I'm talking about would be my little sister Lilly's bully, Kael Cartier. well... I guess If he didn't want his head smashed against a fence he shouldn't have hit Lilly's head against a row of lockers. I look at my hand and I see that i'm still holding the crowbar which was now clearly bent. I started to panic when i looked down at Kael who was lying still on the empty dirt road and realized that he wasn't moving. i bent down and put my hand over his nose and mouth, he wasn't breathing either I could hear the sirens getting louder as the red,blue and white lights drew closer. I searched for any form of an escape; a garbage can, trees, thicker taller grass. Anything. There was nothing, just the quiet spot in between a crossroads. Everywhere in sight was just flat empty land. Almost everywhere in Saskatchewan was.

Damn it I'm definitely not getting out of this. Maybe if this stupid Provence wasn't so flat, or maybe if I didn't decide to go and kill somebody. I bet none of this would have ever happened if I didn't have my fathers genes running through me.

I can't keep putting the blame on everything else but me. This was me. I killed him. Its all my fault.

Finally the police were right in front of me vans,trucks and cars. They were all surrounding me now. As the police told me to to put my hands up I dropped the crowbar which landed beside me with a "thump".

My mum and dad stood near the police with their arms crossed. My mum must have seen me because she buried her head in my dads chest, she always did that when she was sad. I guess it was a place of comfort for her. My dad looked at me with disappointment. I mouthed two words "I'm sorry"
One cop, a lady put me in handcuffs and delivered that one line they always say " you're under arrest you have the right to remain silent anything you say or do can and will be used against you in the court of law.
It was kind of weird, I thought they only said that in movies and stuff. But yet here I am locked in handcuffs hearing it.
The sound of sirens pierced my ears. I hear them every day but they were never because of a murder led alone my murder. Who would have thought the quiet guy in the back of the class just killed somebody. Before this I'd never even been close to breaking the law. But hey, I was bound to break the rules at some point.

Before this whole thing happened I was honesty the perfect person; I had the perfect family, perfect friends and the sweetest girl, Clair. I had the perfect life. Gone, because I lost my temper but I couldn't stop myself. I didn't mean to kill him,  hurt him hell yes but not kill.
I went to trial later that month until then I stayed in a holding cell at our cities police station.
That asked all of the usual questions; do you admit to killing Kael Carter? Why did you kill Kael Carter? Was there any witnesses.
So basically all of the questions they already knew the answers to. " did you kill Kael?" No, that was a random dead body beside me when I was at the crime scene, covered in blood, holding a bent crowbar covered in blood. Of course I killed Kael. I'm not proud of it but yes I did kill him. As for why well let's just say it would be easier to list the reasons not to he was an asshole.

Kael had been bullying my little sister Lilly  for years. Lilly was only ten and in fifth grade. Kael was in 10th (It was a k-9 school). He would push her in the halls, slam her head against the lockers in the halls,throw things at her and call her a slut every time he saw her and other terrible names I don't want to repeat. Lilly would come home crying and she would lock herself in her room for hours almost everyday. And she wouldn't eat as much at dinner. But the final straw, the day when I had enough was when Lilly came home with cuts on her forearms and wrists. We never told mom and dad what she had done to herself. I still remember that day and I'll never forget it. We were in Lilly's room I was helping her with her art project for school. We were drawing and laughing them she rolled up her sleeves so she could paint her drawing. That's when I saw the cuts and scars, scars she had done it before. She made me pinky swear not tell anyone. I promised her that one day Kael would pay someday and now he has.

In court they made their final decision. Guilty, I was guilty. I don't know why we had to take this to court. I admitted to my crime, I told them that I had killed Kael. So why did my parents even bother to hire a lawyer. They must have trusted that I wouldn't have done something as terrible as this.