Passion

Chapter 1

I was nervous. No, scared, even terrified. I didn't even try to hide it, I knew everyone could tell. The way I was shivering, eyes closed, and most likely hyperventilating, it was probably obvious from a mile away. I kept trying to tell myself that it wasn't as big a deal as I was making it out to be, but my head was winning. I was drowning in stares, their eyes burning into me as I waited.

Waited for her.

I managed to take a deep, however strangled, breath, calming my nerves ever so slightly. The rink wreaked with sweat and musky cologne, and middle aged hockey players were chatting ever so loudly over a beer after their home win.

I wondered if I should even show her, if she would even be happy for me, or care for that matter. I fiddled with my fingers, then my sweater, then my phone, then back to my fingers. Sighing, I averted my gaze over to the ice, noting that it seemed colder than usual, judging by the fog dancing on the girthy glass. I tapped my foot, turning to look at the entrance of a long row of doors.

I nearly shrieked when I heard a voice behind me. A manly shriek of course.

"You look a bit nervous, lad. What's got your stomach in a knot?"

I raised my fist, ready to punch whoever snuck up on me. I relaxed when I realized that it wasn't a serial killer who wanted to wear my skin as a dress. His voice was deep, a thick Scottish accent coating his words; it was probably something ladies drooled over. I replied, not wanting to seem rude.

"O-oh, uh, just meeting up with someone is all. I, uhm, I haven't seen her in a while."

  "Ah, your girlfriend I suppose? You plannin' somethin' big?"

I felt my face turn red at the assumption and quickly waved my hand.

"Ah, no, she's just a friend I haven't seen in a while, I really miss her is all."

I nearly busted out laughing at the look of pure, undulated horror on his face, but nonetheless insisted it was fine when he apologized. He chuckled nervously, scratching the back of his neck, deciding to introduce himself to ease the tension.

"Might as well skip the formalities, names Jackson, pleasure to meet you. Came here from Scotland on a business trip."

  "Alex, nice to meet you. I'm a local student. Welcome to Kansas (idk, I love Kansas, I wish I lived there)."

He tried to keep the converstation going, and I tried my best to follow through, but my mind kept going back to when Amber had first taught me to skate, when we had first ice-skated together. She had taught me crossovers and simple spins--so much had changed in three short years, and it was disappointing that I hadn't been able to skate with her since then. I hadn't even seen how much she had improved as a figure skater.

It wasn't too long until I realized that Jackson had left to chat with other people. I decided that I should lace up my skates after I checked my phone, since the public skate was going to start soon anyway. As I finished up tying my laces, I glanced up.

She's here.

All of a sudden all those nervous butterflies came back, pinning me to my seat as I watched her and her family of four file into the large area. But when she started running towards me, her arms open wide, I couldn't help a smile creeping onto my face as I ran as best I could with my skates on. We crashed into a painful hug, her small arms crushing me that hold surprising strength. I hugged her back, enduring the pain until she lets go. Her parents hugged me as well before slipping into the line to pay for the public skate, the line surprisingly short. Guess there weren't many people here today. Joseph, the eldest sibling who was a year younger than me, rolled his eyes as he stalked off to play video games with Liam, the youngest, not far behind.

Once we finally got settled, I pointed out that there was still plenty of time before the public skate started, and we used this time to catch up. I could tell everyone was glad that we didn't have to use social media to communicate. It was always calming being around someone you were comfortable with, talking or not. I listened to Amber tell stories about her babysitting that I never quite understood why she enjoyed. Just for a moment, I had let my mind slip away from my previous worries.

Ambers mom looked at her phone, announcing that it was time to get on the ice. She tried to call the boys over. Tried. Apparently they were in a fight with Sub-Zero and Scorpion, a pretty fair fight if you ask me. Amber rolled her eyes, spinning on her heel and walking toward the entrance, signalling me to follow. I did, not knowing what else to do in this particular situation. I felt a gust of cold air hit my face.

What would she think? Would she hate me? These and so many more questions raced through my head as I stepped out onto the slippery surface. I wobbled, suddenly feeling dizzy, and gripped onto the wall.

I'm not ready.

"Come on, Alex, you didn't bump back down to beginner status did you?! You've been skating for two years, get off the gosh dang wall already!"

I forced myself to laugh, fighting against the dizzying sickness that had previously engulfed me. I followed her to the center of the ice, where most figure skaters practiced, my black skates gliding across the smooth surface. I loved being the first on the ice. I loved being the only one on the ice. It was calming to feel the ice under your feet, it was like a safe haven, a home away from the hectic, everday life.

Amber turned to me, a grin on her face.

"Wanna see what I've learned?"

I nodded eagerly, anticipating the sight of my teacher's improvements. She built up her speed around the circle, though I could see that faintest bit of hesitance. She kept her composure, though, digging her pick into the ice. One, half: an axel. I was surprised by the sheer grace she had performed the jump with, but I couldn't help but be slightly dissapointed. I forced myself to hold back a frown as she skated towards me. I clapped for her, not finding the strength to smile at her.

"That was great, Amber! How long did it take to learn that?"

Lie.

"Oh, about a year, I worked on other stuff for the other year. It was really tough!"

  Lie.

  "That's quite a lot accomplished in two years."

Such an awful lie. She had hesitated, she was scared. Had four years of training only given her this much? Had she even tried? I tried to find an answer as we watched others skate, anger building up inside me with every step. Was this who I had looked up to, who had inspired me to take that extra step? The answer stared me in the face, shouting, screaming at me. I wouldn't listen. I didn't want to listen.

I'm not ready.

  I knew that, but I didn't care. I had made up my mind, taking a deep breath, relishing the feeling of air filling my lungs.

"Want to see the routine I've learned?"

A/N
Hello, people! This is my second book. I based it off of things that happened in my life so far, meaning that this "Amber" is a real person, but I'm not gonna say her real name soooooo. I'm not trying to depict my friend in a bad light, god no, but I need this to happen to advance the story. Yeah. A lot of things from this book will relate to my life, so yeah, fun fact. If you haven't already, which you probably haven't, check out my other book if you want and gimme a little feedback on how to improve! That's all, sorry for the long a/n, I'll take my leave now. Bye frienderinos!!