Our Little Sweet 666

I Want To Be Here For You

KUZA'S POINT OF VIEW

I know that this won't be the best surprise ever, but I want to cook an actual meal for Chris. I can tell just by looking at him that he doesn't eat much. Well I mean, I wouldn't want to eat microwave or refrigerated food all the time either. I even looked in his fridge and he has enough food for like, a few weeks. And he is not going to make it if he doesn't eat properly. And I'm just really worried that he won't eat because he's scared that his parents will find out. But I am going to feed him whether he likes it or not. "Hey, would it be okay if I used the stove?" I asked. "Yeah, as long as they don't find out," he sighed, holding his stomach. "Uhh, babe, when was the las time you ate?" I asked. "Its been almost two weeks," he groaned in pain. I could hear his stomach and I had to hold back tears. "Well, I have a surprise waiting for you. And when I finish your surprise, I will bring it to you. Now, do you have paper plates and plastic silverware? I don't want your parents to get mad at you for using the plates and stuff up there," I said. "Yeah," he said, curling up into a ball. "Okay," I said as I headed up stairs and went to the store.

Once I got back, I went straight to the kitchen. When I went to the store, I bought pots and pans for me and Chris to use. I got our own dish liquid. And I got the stuff to make a proper meal for Chris. I also bought some  plastic containers so I could put the food in them and bring the food down stairs for me and Chris. So I pulled out the biggest pan that I bought. I also pulled out the biggest kettle. And it may not be the best meal, but I decided to cook chicken nuggets and homemade mac and cheese. I just really hope that Chris likes it. Especially since I have never really cooked to much. But I want him to have something that's not microwaved or refrigerated for once.

Once I got done cooking, I put the food in separate bowls, cleaned everything, and brought everything downstairs. And yes, that means I brought the kettles, frying pans, and baking pans that I bought for me and Chris to use down stairs with me. "What did you do?" he groaned, holding his stomach. "I went to the store and bought our own stuff to cook with and food," I said, putting the cooking stuff under his bed. "What's in the clear bowls?" he asked as he sat up and picked one of them up and looked in it. "Something that's not microwaved or refrigerated," I said. "Oh," he said as he got paper plates and plastic forks for the both of us. "Is something wrong? You look like death," I said, concerned. "I'm just really hungry," he laughed. "Well, let's eat then," I said. So we both got food out of the bowls and ate. "This is so good babe," he said as he wolfed his food down. "Thank you, now slow down just a little before you choke," I said. He looked at me and smiled. He then kissed my cheek. "You didn't have to do this babe," he said, rubbing my back. "Well I wanted to do something nice. And I am worried about you. I could tell, just by looking at you, you don't eat properly or as much as you should," I said. "Yeah, I know. But can we get all sad and mushy after we eat," he said, taking a bite if his food. "Yeah, we can," I said. So we decided to finish eating then talk.

We finished our food and then we sat next to each other on his bed. "Why are you worried babe. I'm fine," he said, grabbing my hand. "I am worried about you because you don't eat enough. And I love you and I don't want to lose you to your parents or sister," I said as tears formed in my eyes. "I love you too. And because you want me too, I will eat more, well at least try too," he said, hugging me. "Now that's what I wanted to hear. And even if that means I have to sneak cooked meals down to you," I said, hugging him back. "I love you so much," he said then kissed me. "I love you too," I smiled, kissing him back. So we hugged and kissed passionately. I put my hands up his shirt and ran them up his sides. That's when I felt cuts along his ribs. "Babe, take your shirt off," tears started to form in my eyes. "Why?" he asked, confused. "Just do it," I said, hold back tears. So he took his shirt off and I could see almost all of his ribs and cuts littered his sides and lower stomach. "Why do you do this to yourself?" I asked as I started to cry. I then pulled him into a tight hug. We both sat there crying. "I don't want you to cut or starve yourself anymore. I can't lose you. I need you in my life. I want us to last forever. I don't want to lose you to your parents or a razor blade. I really do love you. You are good enough. And please promise me that you will stop cutting and eat more," I whispered in his ear. "I promise. And I need you more than ever," he said. I kissed his neck and left some love bites. "Now you see these love bites. They show you how much I love you," I said as we got up to stand in the mirror. "But look at me, I'm a fucking mess. Why would you ever want to love me?" he began to cry. "I want to love you too make you happy. I want to be here for you. I want to be with you forever. I want to help you," I said as I hugged him tight. He hugged me back. "I think I need to lay down," he said. "Okay," I said. So we layed down in his bed. I layed on my back and he layed on his stomach. I then pulled him closer to me. Then he crawled on top of me. "I love you babe, and never forget that," I said, reaching over to shut the lamp off. I closed my eyes and rubbed his back. "I love you too," he yawned, closing his eyes. And not long after, he started to snore quietly.

'I am so worried about Chris. I don't know what I would if he took his own life. I wouldn't be able to live without him. I need him and he needs me. And I don't plan on leaving him any time soon,' were my last thoughts before I fell asleep myself.