The Talent Show

Chapter 1 - The Announcement

First of all, this story was inspired by Allie and Foster's "Weird". This song is everything I love about Luna and the way Foster sings backup reminds me of the way I always imagine Draco loving Luna from the sidelines and supporting her and I just love them so much. Anyway, here we go!

Draco was sitting in the Great Hall, beside Blaise and across from Pansy, when Loony walked in. Draco always knew the exact instant that she arrived because he always happened to be casually staring at the door, just waiting to catch the first glimpse of her overly long hair and bad fashion choices. He never failed to make a remark about it. Today's was a real winner: "Loony's looking particularly daft today."

She was looking daft as a duck, but that was why he liked looking at her. She, at least, was interesting, especially compared to the rest of the school's population. He always found her outfits hypnotizing, to the point of obsession. To be more direct, he found her worthy of obsession.

Make no mistake, Draco did not acknowledge Loony Lovegood, nor did he acknowledge his own dumb emotions. It would be social suicide to attempt friendship with Loony, let alone confess to the fact that he harbored feelings for such a weirdo.

Draco knew he was a coward for it, but he was in Slytherin for a reason. He was super into self preservation, and he knew how to get ahead. Admitting he had a thing for Loony would get him nowhere in life. But it might get him somewhere in Loony's life a tiny voice inside him muttered. He quickly smacked that voice upside the head and tuned back in to the conversation Blaise was having with Pansy.

"Damn, Weaslette's looking fine today," Draco nearly spit out his drink when Blaise muttered that to Pansy. Of course, Pansy's response was even worse, "But you know who's looking even better? The Potty and Weasel."

For Merlin's sake, was Draco the only person he knew who didn't want to get into a Gryffindor's pants? Well, there was the one time, but seriously, it was just one time. Blaise snapping his fingers in Draco's face was enough of a shock to force Draco out of his own head and back to the present. It appeared that his delightful friends were finished with their inspections of various Gryffndor arses and were ready to listen to Draco's witty remarks about Loony's hair and outfit.

Draco fluffed his hair and straightened his posture, fully prepared to make his friends wait as punishment for ignoring his earlier. So, instead of repeating his remark, he took two bites of roast beef, one sip of pumpkin juice, and coughed delicately into his hand, while casually checking to see where Loony was.

The waiting game was the power struggle the Slytherins all played with each other on a regular basis. Draco had never lost, and he didn't intend to now. He just had to hold out until Pansy's face got one more shade darker.

Like clockwork, her face shifted from tomato red to magenta, and she spat out, "Well?"

"Well what Parkinson?"

"What base comment about Loony will you bestow on us today?"

"Simply the observation that she looks as daft as a duck, and that a bloke would have to be insane to want to deal with that on a daily basis."

"And yet you never fail to deal out a comment on a daily basis," it was Blaise who interrupted, but Pansy nodded along, a huge, smug smirk on her face. Blaise's comment was a daily occurrence that followed Draco all the way through each day until he called Loony a bad name and reassured himself that no one, not even his best friend, could tell that he had more than a mean spirited interest in the kooky Ravenclaw.

As it was, Draco simply huffed once, shoved a forkful of mashed potatoes in his mouth, and muttered, "At least I'm not running after a Weasley's skirt."

"At least I have the bollocks to chase a skirt," Blaise was ever calm, which only infuriated Draco more. He was about to retaliate and maybe go cause a bit of physical harm to Loony when Professor Mcgonagall stood up and tapped her spoon against her water glass. She only waited until it was moderately quiet before waving her wand casually at the Gryffindor table and silencing them. Then, she amplified her voice and announced in her elegant, yet creeky old voice, "Dumbledore  has an announcement children! So sit down and listen or there will be house points removed!"

Dumbledore stood and smiled slowly at all the students, "As you all know, things are rather...tense in the world right now. In light of this, the rest of the teachers and I have decided that it might be best if we introduce some new events to Hogwarts in an effort to alleviate some pressure. The first one will be a talent competition. I got the idea from a Muggle program called Britain's Got Talent. Rules and Regulations will be posted soon. That is all. Enjoy some pudding!"

For Merlin's sake, this was ridiculous. Who in their right mind would ever willingly put themselves in front of fellow students and try and show off? Okay, to be honest, Draco did that every day, but to do it on a stage? That was just tacky. He couldn't wait to see who he could make fun of. Maybe Longbottom was even lamer than he appeared. Maybe Potter was secretly a ballet dancer. The possibilities were endless.

A sick part of Draco's mind whispered, maybe Loony has an amazing talent and everyone will love it so much that they'll stop thinking she's loony and then everyone will love her and Longbottom will get off his arse and ask her out and she'll say yes and they'll get married and have ten children and you'll die alone in your stupid mansion while making dumb comments about people's clothes.

The logical part of Draco's mind scoffed that'll never happen and if it did, it wouldn't matter because I don't care what happens to Loony as long as it happens far away from me and I can make fun of it.

The conscious part of Draco's mind decided that the best possible thing to do was to make sure Lovegood didn't take part in the competition at all. No matter what. Draco's future, and possibly his sanity, relied on it. And so, while his eyes followed Loony out the doors, his mind followed her to possible scenarios in which she would be prevented from participating. He had to be honest when he said most of them involved bad puns and dumb jokes about Loony's hair. Neither of those things was going to stop her from entering. He was going to have to come up with something really good.

Draco was in the middle of coming up with something mediocre to terrible when Blaise interrupted, "Stop staring at the door like a ponce. She's already left."

"I was not staring after her."

"Then what were you doing? Checking out Potter's arse?"

Pansy joined in, "Was he doing that again? I always miss it!"

"I've never checked out Potter's arse in my life!"

They both ignored him and chattered on about the merits of Potter's arse and how red their parents would turn if they knew either of them thought Potter had a fine arse.

Draco got up and left the table without finishing his pudding. He was going to have to plot somewhere his nitwit friends couldn't find him.