Hetalia Suicide Notes

Not the 'Mighty U.S.A'. Just Alfred.

I've heard that when a country tries or succeeds in committing suicide, they're reborn. I've also heard that their country dies. Or that they just keep bleeding until the cut heals, the medicine has no effect, or they can't drown or suffocate.

I want to ask how they know. No one has ever attempted it... At least I hope. They wouldn't want to feel the shame when there was a possibility they'd wake up, completely fine.

Well, I guess I'm a coward. Or maybe I'm not... How can one tell when it's cowardice, and when it's justified...?

Iggy would say that there was never a just reason to take you own life. There's always a way for it to get better, and it will, given enough time. Well, I'm sorry England. My patience has run out... I can't push myself to live anymore.

The truth is... I'm not the 'mighty U.S.A.', like everyone thinks. That head-strong, obnoxious, stupid guy? He's not me.

I'm just Alfred. Really, that's all I ever have been. I'm not the guy who's fought so many wars, and not the person who gets involved in every world affair. I'm not the one who's trillions of dollars is debt. That's America. The land of the free, and the home of the brave. I'm Alfred. A coward who can't even get the courage to tell anyone at all he's depressed. That's me.

I apologize right now to whoever finds me... Discovering the 'hero' with an empty bottle of pills dead in his bed probably won't be pleasant. Unless you're Russia. Then you might enjoy it.

So I guess I better acknowledge some people.

Firstly, to Matthew. (And in case you didn't realize, that's Canada. The one you always forget? Yah, him.) I'm sorry for leaving you... I know you're not really noticed and that's largely my fault. And I apologize a thousand times for that. I know you need someone to look up to. A hero. And I know that was me. So Gilbert, Prussia, whatever you want to call yourself, you'd better be taking care of Mattie after this. We've fought a ton, I know, but I also know that you generally like (and more importantly remember) him. So don't let him out of your sight, okay?

Arthur, I'm sorry for all the times we fought. You were my big brother, and I'm not sure exactly when that changed. I want to apologize for my revolution... Maybe if I'd been obedient, we wouldn't be here now, huh? I wouldn't be doing this... Anyways, I just wanted to let you know that. And that I love you. You're my brother, I never really stopped... So... Just remember Matthew, okay? Don't go around calling him me, that'll just hurt both of you. Don't forget, but don't let me hold you up. I've done that enough already, haven't I?

France, I'd like to thank you for helping me out with gaining my freedom. Maybe it wasn't the best choice, overall, but thanks.

Japan... Again, I'm sorry. You really were my best friend. A damn great one, too. Kiku, thank you. For watching those stupid movies with me, for hanging out with me, and really just for putting up with me. Tell China the next representative will get him his money for me, will ya?

Wow, this is really long... It was only supposed to be a few words. Sorry for taking up more of your time, then, whoever finds this.

I'd better go, before I chicken out. This is my final goodbye, I guess. Not a America. As Alfred.

- Alfred F. Jones, formerly America

Aaaaaaaaaaand there go everyone's feels. Now, I must eat, so I shall deal with you angry people later.