Chapter 2 - It's Not Eavesdropping if You're Dead

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"Hey Karkat! Is this seat taken?" Terezi asked as she neared Karkat's table. Of course it wasn't, he was the only one there. Karkat jumped when he heard his name.

"What the fuck- oh, yeah, it's fucking taken! Are you fucking blind or something? All my invisible fucking bitches laid out over here, sorry, no fucking space for you! But here, you can put down your fucking name here, on the fucking 'Sit with me' list that's fucking invisible just like all my fucking friends!" Karkat yelled so loud Terezi was afraid his tonsils might jump right out of his mouth and fall in his spaghetti.

"I am blind, Karkles." She replied calmly and smiling inwardly at how adorable Karkat was up close.

"Who let you use that asshole of a nickname? Wait, how the fuck do you even know my name? And I don't believe you for a single nooksniffing second! How could you get over here if you were fucking blind?"

"I followed your scent, dummy!" Terezi laughed and leaned over to take the apple slices off his tray.

Karkat glared at her. "What the fuck? That's just weird- that's- that's just prostitution, that's what that is! Now if you still haven't gotten the fucking hint, the seat is not taken and I don't fucking want it to be taken and you can suck a bulge for all I care!"

Most of the other trolls in the cafeteria  had turned towards the commotion. Karkat's voice sure traveled far.

Terezi was absolutely unfazed by his outburst, however. She had gotten worse from Latula's matesprit, Mituna, who had a few screws loose to put it lightly. She cackled and took a seat next to him to get closer to his apple slices. Karkat hissed and scooted away. "I just fucking told you to get lost!" He said, moving his tray away before Terezi could pinch his cold block of "pasta" as well.

"Oh come off it Karkles. I just wanted to have a civil conversation with you!"
"Civil mcfucking shrivel! Go away!"
"What colour is your blood?"
"You asshat!"
"Is it really grey?"
"If I say yes, will you fucking leave me alone?"
"No, because then I would ask you why you lied."
"What the fuck?"
"I can smell the color of your blood, Karkles! It's-"

All heads were turned in their direction except Nepeta and Feferi who were busy playing a heated round of Go Fish. Karkat shoved his hand into Terezi's gaping mouth and rushed them both outside. They sprinted over the football field and behind the classrooms. Terezi whacked Karkat repeatedly on the head with her cane but he kept on. Finally, they stopped near the rubbish bins and Karkat took his fist out of her mouth, wiping her slobber on his sweater and grimacing. Terezi felt her jaw and slumped on the side of a bin, tired from their recent expedition.

"Okay, I don't know what's up with you, but NEVER mention my blood colour to anyone, do you fucking hear me?!" He yelled at her.
"A bit too well." Terezi mumbled, sticking her fingers into her ears.
"Good. Fucking good!" Karkat turned to leave. Then he turned. Terezi looked up at him.

"Just so I know you're not playing a trick on me- and you'd better not be or I will fucking fillet you alive- but what colour is my blood?"

Terezi stared at him with her useless eyes and then started cackling wildly. She stood up and started to ruffle his hair. Karkat tried to move away but winced at a sudden pain from the more-violent-than-he-had-expected cane drubbings. Terezi removed her hand and held it up for him to see.

"Red, Karkles!" She exclaimed. "The most beautiful, luscious, heart-stopping, breath-hitching, stomach-fluttering red you'd ever never seen!"


...


Karkat gave her a look of disgust. He felt his bleeding skull and looked at the few streaks of blood on his hand. He started to wipe it off on his sweater but though twice before he turned and wiped it on the wall instead.

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