Penny: I still remember the first moment our eyes met, something happened. Those icy blue eyes. I couldn't take my eyes off of him. I could feel the magnetic pull and we're both helpless against it. Our eyes met constantly across the room. He would...
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The hot shower soothes the aches in my muscles a bit after that rigorous training that I had this afternoon.
I don't feel like going out, but I'm not willing to stay and spend my evening making nice with Darius and his mate either. My heart still hurts when I think of them together.
I texted Lily earlier to let her know that I'm going to the party. She texted me back to remind me that tonight's theme is "cowboys and cowgirls" and to pick her up at the dorm and maybe have dinner together before we go to the party.
Amanda and Keisha left earlier with a whole bunch of girls to town and they're going straight to the party from one of the other girl's place.
Caspian said they're arriving close to midnight, so I have plenty of time. I know I'm running away like a chicken that I am, but I'm not yet ready to face Darius. Maybe one day I will...when I no longer feel like castrating him on sight. In another word, NEVER.
I rummage my closet for something suitable to wear to a "cowboys and cowgirls" theme party....and found my one and only pair of cowboy boots. I decided to pair them with a backless, short white cotton sundress that ends a few inches above my knees. It's perfect for a warm California night. I wouldn't look out of place if we decided to go party hopping later on either.
I just put a bit of makeup on and leave my hair down to its natural wave. Too bad I don't own a stetson.
By the time I'm done and ready to go downstairs, I hear voices talking in the front foyer. Juno stirs. Oh, no...are they here already? They can't be. Caspian said mid-night! Their scent hit my nose and I smell him. I recognize his addictive scent anywhere. My heart starts hammering in my chest. There's also another smell that I'm not familiar with. Damn Caspian!
I hear an unfamiliar female voice talking to my friends. Their voices are muffled and I can't really make out what they're saying, but I recognize their voices. I hear Serena, Genesis, then Constantine...then there's a lull in the conversation. Then I hear Caspian, that unfamiliar female voice laughing, then...him. That causes me to take a sharp intake of breath. Just listening to his voice transports me back to where I was before. It messes with my head.
In my head, he was mine. I hated all the women that got anywhere near him. Jealousy is a painful emotion that tore me apart. Three years I endured it. I fought hard. I'm so tired now. I can't do it anymore. That last one was the most painful. My heart still burns and cracks painfully over and over again every time that image of him and Polina in bed together flashes across my mind. After it happened, I wanted to crawl somewhere and die. At times...I still do.
I was angry with myself for being stupid. I turned that anger towards him. I want so badly to hate him. I'm not ready, though. I'm still convincing myself that I hate him. Why does he have to be here? Why can't he just go somewhere else? Preferably to hell.
No, I'm not ready to face him yet. There are so many emotions raging inside of me. I'm anxious, nervous, excited, sad, pissed off. I'm mainly pissed off. So pissed off that I feel like sucker punch somebody in the face. Kick somebody in the nuts. Shove a baseball bat up somebody's æss.
