romantic poetry

numb

//trigger warning//

deprived of physical sensation or incapable of action.
numb is what i've felt, what i've been feeling for the past few weeks. i don't know if it's because i took advil to get rid of the horrible pain i was in a month ago or because i just grew acostumed to what's been going on in life. i didn't feel any emotion when he placed his hand on my inner thigh, not even a slight sensation, nor when his lips hovered over my neck, after whispering sweet nothings in my ear. when i rolled my ankle after running, it swelled up to the size of a softball and yet i didn't feel a thing, not even a burn or a pinch. yesterday, i saw a small galaxy painted on his neck. a galaxy that i didn't create and i didn't feel anything, no regret, no betrayal, no sorrow, not even a thing. taking the silver blade, i dragged it along the skin of my upper forearm again and again until there were six lines that overlaid lines from before hand and i didn't feel a thing. i didn't miss the red liquid that was escaping from my body, if anything, i was jealous. jealous of the fact that it can leave, be washed away, be forgotten of, and i can't. i want to escape this horrible world full of dirt, crime, and disgust, i want to leave, be washed away, and most of all to be forgotten.