Saving Emery Clarke

E M E R Y · 1 1

E D I T E D : J U L Y  2 9 ,  2 0 1 7

warning: this chapter may be triggering to some readers. read with caution.

•°•°•

Everything hurts.

My head. My body. My soul.

It all hurts, and it won't stop.

I open my eyes, immediately squinting to adjust to the bright lights. I quickly realize I'm not in my old room, but rather in a pristine hospital room.

I'm in a hospital gown that hangs on my small frame loosely. My left arm has a needle stuck in, attaching me to an IV drip. The previous events rush back at me, full force.

I feel filthy.

Cheap.

Disgusting.

Used.

Dirty.

But most of all, I feel violated.

Some unknown man had taken my virginity, stripping me of any innocence I had left. He had used me, calling me foul names and beating me.

Tears start streaming down my face, slowly at first, then a complete, unstoppable flood.

I rip the IV out of my arm, ignoring the stinging and blood. I get up, on weak legs, and stumble into the bathroom.

I turn on the shower, sobbing. I start scrubbing at my skin with the bar of soap, trying to wash the memories away. I sit on the shower floor, crying and rubbing my skin raw.

My skin is now a bright red color, tender to the touch. I finally just sit there, replaying everything over and over and over. I can't pause the thoughts, they just kept flowing.

I faintly hear the door to my room open, then see someone run into the bathroom. "Shit!" They curse.

It's Seth.

I know I should be happy to see him, but I feel like nothing more than the gum on the bottom of his shoe. Like I'm a burden.

Seth frowns and grabs the soap from me. He gently washes my hair, rubbing the soap in and rinsing it away as I cry. He notices I already scrubbed myself clean, so he turns off the water and grabs a towel.

There is an extra hospital gown under the sink. Seth grabs it, not speaking. Somehow, he knows I don't want to talk.

He takes off my gown and dries me off. I can't bring myself to care about being naked in front of him. It doesn't matter anymore.

I flinch as he accidentally hits a bruise, and I make the mistake of looking down.

My whole torso is covered in a variety of colors. Blue, green, black, brown, yellow, purple. The bruises cover almost every inch of me.

My bottom lip trembles, my eyes watering again. I fall forward, against Seth. He stumbles back a couple steps before hugging me close to him.

"It's alright, sweetheart," he whispers soothingly into my ear. Seth strokes my hair, letting me sob all over his t-shirt.

When I'm done with my crying fit, I sniffle and back away. I cover my body, feeling ashamed. Seth gives me a small, crooked smile. "It's okay, Emery. You don't have to me embarrassed around me," he says

I shake my head. "It-" I'm cut off by my own coughing from having not spoken. "It's not like that. I feel dirty," I say, my voice raw and cracking from screaming.

His face turns angry. "I'm going to fucking kill that son a bitch!"

I sniff, grabbing the extra gown. I carefully slip it on. "Please don't. He doesn't deserve to die."

Seth sighs. "Why are you so...good? He literally raped you, and you don't want him to die."

I swallow thickly. "I would never wish death on anyone. He could have a family," I whisper. Suddenly I'm  hit with a wave of depression, making me stop right where I am.

I blink slowly, trying to pass it on. My chest feels nearly empty, my head a jumble of thoughts. I sit down on the floor, crossing my legs.

"Emery? Hey, what's wrong?" Seth asks, crouching down in front of me. He sets a hand down on my shoulder, squinting at me.

I continue to stare past him, my gaze on the hospital room. Why can't my life be simple? Why do I have to have such a shitty mother and a crappy life? The only thing that is actually bearable in my life is Seth.

Maybe I should just go to sleep and never wake up. That would be easier for me, for everyone. Nobody wants me. I am nothing.

I faintly see Seth waving his hands around in front of my face, trying to get me to respond.

And just like that, the wave of depression was gone.

I shake my head slightly, clearing my mind. "Emery! I'm going to call the doctor-"

"No. I'm fine. I just...I don't know," I say softly, standing up slowly. I use Seth's arm for support to hold my frail body up.

"Are you sure? They're supposed to come around again in about half an hour, but I can get them now if you want," he suggests, gnawing on his lip. Seth really seems concerned for me.

I shake my head again. "I'm okay. I just need to lay down."

Seth helps me to the bed, lifting me onto it and wrapping me in the covers. Then I notice his spit knuckles on both hands. "What happened to your hands?" I ask, grabbing one and peering closer.

"Nothing, baby. Just go to sleep, you look tired," he says, kissing my forehead. It feels great to have someone who cares about me like this. It probably won't last. He'll find out about my past and never talk to me again.

"Tell me, Seth. Tell me everything about last night," I urge.

"I don't think I should, not right now-"

"Please. I need to know," I say, looking up at him. "I can't remember. Please?"

Seth closes his eyes. "Damn it. Fine," he mutters.

I shift over on the bed. "Sit down."

He sits down next to me, kicking his feet up on the bed and leaning back a little. "How much do you want to know?"

"Everything."

•°•°•