The Sides Of Ourselves We Do Not See

Chapter 3

N/A So I've decided that I am going to start making this in the first person. I think that this story is more personal for the main character, so it will probably be in his point of view most time, but I will but POV if it changes. Most likely it would change in the middle of the chapter, but I wanted y'all to be aware. Chapter 3 here we go!!

Aiden's POV

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'I can't do this. I can't do this.'

"Mom, please I can't do this. I really can't do this." I said as we were pulling up to the school Lincoln High School. It was the place that I thought, no I knew I was going to die.

I heard my mom sigh before coming to a stop in front of the school where she would drop me off.  She turned toward me with a smile that I knew was forced. I don't think my mom wanted me to leave, but she thought it was the best for me. "Sweetie, you can do this, I know you can. You're Aiden Weilden you can do anything. You have your phone and headphones right?" she said and I felt a slight bit of confidence then before. I nodded yes to her question. Of course I had both. "Look, you can call me if you really need out of there, but only if you need it. Do you want me to go to the office with you?"

I shook my head no. "I need to be able to talk to people you're right. I can do this. I can do this." I repeated it till it became a mantra in my head. I got my bag out and smiled at her, it may have been forcefully. It was definitely forcefully. "Thanks mama" I said and I could immediately see the worry in her eyes. I only called her that when I was nervous.

"You can do this Aiden. I love you." she said and smiled at me again and making a signal that I knew meant to leave. I murmured a 'love you too' and left quickly. My mom knew that I didn't exactly know what love was. It was a confusing subject to me, and one I didn't want to mess with.

I was just standing  there for a few minutes not being able to force myself to actually go into the building. It was the ring of something. I thought it was the bell for school, but after I felt the vibration I knew it was my phone in my hand. I got it out and noticed there was a message from my mom. 'I love you Aiden, you can do this. Make friends!' I felt happy about there, sure my mom didn't know everything about my prob-medical issues, but she tried her hardest.

I held on to the straps of my backpack and started walking. I kept my eyes on the ground hoping that nobody saw me and it worked. Of course I still had to look up every once and a while to make sure that I could find the office. After about 2 minutes I found it thankfully, I don't think I could go unnoticed for longer. I practically ran into the principle's office and stopped by the secretary it was then that I realized that I had no clue what the hell I was doing.

'Aiden did you really think that you could get through the whole day without talking?' 'Yes.' I thought in my mind before I realized I was talking to myself and shook my head. 'You got this.' I told myself.

I cleared my throat and the secretary looked up at me. I quickly averted my eyes to the floor. "Hi!" she said overly cheery. I was guessing she was supposed to do that. "What do you need?" she asked still with a smile on her face.

It took me a couple seconds for him to realize that it was my turn to talk. I still had my eyes on the floor, but started talking. "Um, I-I'm Aiden W-Weinfield.I-I'm new." he said it flushed bright red to his dismay.

"Oh, right. Mr. Anderson said something about a news student. He wanted to meet you. Go on in." she said and pointed to the office door. I nodded and walked in her direction mumbling a 'thank you'.  I knocked on the door hearing a 'come in' from a deep, raspy voice which startled me for a second, or five.

I slowly opened the door trying to make as little noise as I could. I then turned toward the door and closed it making  a soft sound at the impact between the door and wall. Then I turned around immediately averting my eyes to the flood, practically feeling the stare of the principle. "Come sit. You must be Aiden." Principle Anderson? It was Anderson I think said. I nodded at his statement and clumsily went and sat down on the chair. It was cushioned on both the seat of the chair and the back which was a relief. There were arm rests, but I didn't use them, I slouched into myself. It was an awkward position, but it always made me feel comfortable. "Right, so this is your schedule, and a picture of the campus with the direction of each classroom." he said handing me the laminated papers. I quickly  grabbed them avoiding his hand to the best of my ability.

I quickly took a look at the schedule Science, History, English, Lunch, Calculus, Choir, and Study Hall.

It sounded normal at first until I read it over again. Choir? I never sang, unless you counted in the shower. I told Mr. Anderson that and he slightly chuckled at the last sentence "Really? Your mother told me you were quite the singer." Mr. Anderson said. My mom always thought I was a good singer, but it was something I couldn't ever picture myself doing. Me singing in front of crowds? No. Not gonna happen. "Do you think you could go today and if you don't enjoy it I will change it right away." He said with a comforting smile. I nodded. It would be fine. Right?

"M-m mom said that you knew about my,um, situations." I said. I could never find the correct words to say about the Thixophobia and social anxiety. It usually depended on who I was talking to.

"Yes, of course. All the teachers are aware and the students should not be harassing you. We do not condone bullying of any kind, so if you have a problem talk to one of the teacher." He said. I felt an immediate comfort in my body when he said that they don't condone bullying it was nice to know. I nodded to him and he smiled. I walked out of the classroom taking a deep breath heading to my locker.

You can do this. You're Aiden Weinfeild. You're going to make friends and not be lonely anymore.

I almost laughed out loud at the last statement, but for now I let myself believe the lies of my brain.