As i pull up to the house i notice the clematis climbing the mail box, just put it there last year, so this is the first year it was doing anything. I pull into the drive way the garage is open but by now most of my things are gone! I am told Amber is in the back fishing, she wants me to come back, so i head around the side of the house past the row of day lily's that lead to the pond, which by now is a well landscaped hole in the ground, past the shed that took me all summer to build one year, past more rows of day lily's, the Cleveland pear, crabapple, contorted philbert, countless boulders, i continue through the back yard past the fire pit between the pool and the Autumn blaze maple i planted the first year in the house and by now is at least 35-40 feet tall! A giant and just beautiful come fall! Now i get close to the arbor that leads to the lake behind the house Amber comes into sight just down by the lake, rod in hand, alone i guess because i was the one who always took her fishing! As i pass through the arbor i am overwhelmed with the sadness of everything lost! Not the house, the clematis, the day lily's, the pond, not the shed, pool, fire pit or the trees! Its this standing in front of me, its goodnight kisses, bed time stories, its catching frogs in the pond, its holding her when shes scared at night, kissing that skinned knee and making it feel better, basketball in the driveway! Its being Dad 24/7!!! As i get close to her i hit my knees, pull her close and hug her tight until she asks" dad is everything ok" i pull it together enough to say " it is right now" and i watch as she gets in 2 more casts before we have to leave!
